Show. Off.

I've recently realized that for a long time I always had "something to do". Something that wasn't my job but I could focus on. 

For about 5 years in the late 80's/early 90's I volunteered at the SF SPCA. I was an Adoption Counselor (now they call them Matchmakers) and felt proud that I helped many animals get forever homes. The SPCA was a lot more ghetto back then...the cats were in small, relatively bare cages vs the lovely condos they have now. I remember once a cat got loose in one of the rooms and I was the only person willing to reach my arm underneath the bank of cages and pull the kitty out. Yes, I bled. At the end of my SPCA stint, I recruited a few friends and made a very (very!) silly video for the Volunteer Dinner. It was about a bunch of animals talking about their time at the SPCA. Little did I know that a few years later I would spend more than a decade making movies about talking animals. Ah, foreshadowing.

Post- SPCA, I found belly dance. And anyone who knows me at all will know that belly dance became all-consuming. Don't get me wrong, I loved it. It basically changed everything for me. Learning, rehearsing, performing, teaching...it was like a full time job!  It molded me into the person I am today.

That molding process took 18 years.  And when it was done...well I wasn't exactly sure what that meant for my life.

Around the same time that belly dance ended, my job (which was like having two full time jobs, quite honestly) also ended. After 5 blissful months off (which is when this blog became a twinkle in my eye), I found a new job with MUCH better work/life balance. So where does that leave the girl who always has "something to do"?

I like to bake and there are a few dishes I make often. Baklava is the big one. I like to fancy myself a "filo whisperer". I also like to bake cookies and quick breads. I tried a pie once which was stressful but fun (and edible!). Beth and I have baked some things together which spawned our fake company, Clandestine Bakeries (named after our belly dance troupe). I think it's fair to say we were getting a little cocky - especially after we made a really tasty bread and a dessert that included making our own caramel! Which totally worked and was delicious.

So I was thinking...hmmm, maybe baking? It's kind of fun and rewarding when people like what you create. Okay! Yes! Baking.

Then I watched this:

The Great British Baking Show - Series 4 - 8 released on Netflix

Wow, dudes. 

After watching all the seasons Netflix has to offer I realized that not only am I an amateur...it's like I don't even know what a cake pan is.

I'm not a filo whisperer...I shout at it.

When Beth and I made edible caramel it was completely beginners luck.

I know I'm late to jump on the GBBS bandwagon but I love this show! Fun fact: when this show aired in the UK they called it The Great British Bake Off. Because Pillsbury clearly has identity issues, they complained that a show in America can't use "Bake Off" because that is theirs. So they changed it to "Baking Show". Show. Off. You decide. 

As I've talked about before, reality shows - particularly competitions - aren't really my thing (Except the Voice. I love the Voice.). But this is like a reality show/competition that is covered in candy floss and icing sugar. 

Everyone is polite to each other. They help each other in a jam. The original hosts (Mel and Sue) are funny but never at the expense of anyone (except maybe judge Paul Hollywood but you kind of think he deserves it). And there is always a group hug when someone has to go home. So nice!

Plus, this has spawned some inspired (to us) texting between me and Beth.

We were harsh:

S: Paul is judging with his dick.

We channeled Harry Potter:

- Beth called one contestant " a Weasley" because he was a ginger and for a moment I thought (hoped) it was his real name.

- I was positive one contestant looked just like Madame Pomfrey (I included these photos)

See what I mean??

We called out the difference between the UK and the US:

B: The winners apparently don't get any money or anything. Just a cake stand, flowers and recognition. SO not American.

S:  Recognition would never be enough for a Yank.

We were fashion police:

B: The blonde has tighter pants in S2. Maybe she got some feedback.

We were judges:

S: Toby needs to go.

B:  Not to worry there.

We monitored the tragedies:

B: Wait till you get to Custardgate.

S: Oh, you mean that the woman used Chinless's custard? 

B: Yes.

S: Poor Howard (aka Chinless). Didn't Sue put her elbow in his muffin? Heh.

B; Yes!

And

S: OMG...the custard tart debacle!!

B: Those tarts were a hot mess.

S: Yeah. Tragic.

We got inspired:

S: Those filo "snakes" are interesting

B: Indeed.

S: I might need to try something snakey.

B: You could totes do it

S: Spanakopita snake

B: Sssssssssspanakopita. Thank you, I'll be here all night.

We realized that Brits can be kinda nasty:

B: There's a hilarious moment when the Weasley makes a marzipan knight and places the knight's lance, ahem, a wee bit low. Paul totally calls him on it and they show a close up. Brits are dirtier than I thought.

After extended negotiations with the BBC (that apparently didn't go that well?) the show moved to Channel 4. At that time Mel and Sue also left the show. The show goes on with new hosts. My jury is out, to be honest, about the new hosts. They seem nice enough but they haven't quite sold me yet with their cry of "On your mark. Get set. BAKE!"

(My drink pairing for this whole series is Fortnum & Mason's St Pancras Blend Tea. Because what goes better with baked goods than English tea??)

My takeaways:

#1 - Why DO I feel like I need to be so busy all the time?

#2 - Clandestine Bakeries is not deterred by our amateur status. We will bake again!

#3 - My whole household got the baking bug:

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

My week in Panem

I went down a Hunger Games rabbit hole this week. The original film was on TV and I caught a few minutes and thought "I'd like to watch that again". Then I realized I never saw the last two films (Mockingjay Pt 1 and 2). So off I went.

I spent every night (with the exception of the night I went to see Les Miserables for like the 10th time) in Panem with Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Haymitch, President Snow....you know, the whole gang. I was also experimenting with a cannabis edible as a "sleep aid" that was entirely unsuccessful. So between the utterly bleak and agitating films and this pot mint that made me weirdly jittery, I slept really poorly all week. 

Neat.

After watching the four films of the series, it really seemed to beg for a blog post but I thought "what can I really say about these films that hasn't been said?" Nothing, really. So I went for what I was thinking about while watching - Effie Trinket and her outfits. 

First of all, I love Elizabeth Banks. She's great in these movies, she's so funny in Pitch Perfect (not to mention she produced that successful franchise). I even love her Realtor.com commercials. I feel like she'd be fun to hang out with.

And her Hunger Games costumes are ridiculous and amazing. They reach out of the screen and slap you around the face. They have spawned many Halloween costumes. (Beth was Effie and Todd was Caesar the year I was Katniss. We love a theme.)

Katniss, Caesar, and Effie - Halloween 2012 (apologies for the poor quality photo and I have no idea why I'm smirking at Todd)

What kept hitting me as I was watching this film is that Effie's outfits can be a barometer of the arc of these films as well as her character. 

Using costuming to depict themes in films isn't new. Think Star Wars. Episode 4 - Luke and Leia in tan/white. Darth Vader in black. Iconic. Episode 5 - Luke begins to wear more black...he's so conflicted! 

And to be fair, other people - much more learned than I - have already written about this in regard to The Hunger Games franchise. All I can do is to let you in on the little sliver of my brain that focused on this during my HG week.

So I give you:

The Effolution of Effie

(see what I did there?)

Hunger Games - released in 2012

Effie quote: Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favor.

One thing I love about this first film is the cinematography. The colors of District 12 are SO washed out - it just hammers the bleakness home. Effie is District 12's escort for the tributes. In this film she is consistently a bright pop of color, a solid representation of the Capital and how out of touch they are with the rest of the country. Everything she tries to do seems to hit a sour note from choosing the tributes to her relationships with Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch. But she remains sure of herself and her position in the universe. 

I read that they make all her costumes very constricting to accentuate the Capital's restrictive hold over everyone.

Hunger Games: Catching Fire - released 2013

Effie quote:  Eyes bright, chins up, smiles on.

So Katniss and Peeta have won their initial games but Katniss pissed off President Snow with her "subversive" ways so he places them in the games again by instituting the Quarter Quell - the 75th anniversary of the games - which brings the victors back to play again. Effie had been under the assumption that Katniss and Peeta were not only safe but incredibly lucky to have both survived so you can imagine how she's feeling. And even though she's afraid for her victors and possibly doesn't agree with decisions the President is making, she's still a Capital girl. Her outfits, at this point, are perhaps a bit subtler in color but no less elaborate. She wears a golden wig for much of the film; Katniss's Mockingjay pin is gold so this shows Effie's solidarity. Alexander McQueen inspired and created many of the costumes in this film including my favorite - the Butterfly Dress. Amazing. And what better outfit to point out that the Panem government - and Effie - are going through a metamorphosis.

Hunger Games: Mockingjay Pt 1 - released 2014

Hunger Games: Mockingjay Pt 2 - released 2015

Effie quote:  Everything old can be made new again, like democracy.

Effie quote: (to Katniss) Everyone's either gonna want to kiss you, kill you, or be you.

I honestly couldn't decide between these two quotes from Pt 1 because they are both so great and, in fact, Effie doesn't have many lines at all in Pt 2.

These two films basically outline the revolution that Katniss's rebellion in the games has spawned. The President is awful and creating "fake news", children are being separated from their families. Science fiction is so weird, right?  The Districts are finally uniting. Juliana Moore wants to be the next President and is equally as horrible as President Snow. I felt like much of this hit very close to home and goddammit it was depressing.

In Part 1 we discover that Effie has been taken in by the rebels. She's wearing - God forbid! - plain blue coveralls and a scarf wrapped around her head. She's not in constrictive clothing anymore; she's sloughed off the Capital's influence. And for a moment, it seems as though she's lost her identity. But Effie is a survivor. Eventually, she glams herself up and moves forward.

And we realize, by Mockingjay Part 2, that Effie really has grown. She's not a product of her Capital environment anymore. She sees the hypocrisy. She still lives in the Capital, preparing to put a life together in the new, uncharted future, but she's more subdued and, perhaps, more enlightened.

(My drink pairing for all these films are definitely NOT marijuana mints.)

My takeaways:

#1 - JLaw is a really good actress.

#2 - The games are child abuse. I knew this before but it hit me again. I know it's science fiction but that's pretty fucking bleak.

#3 - Massive shout out to Costume Designer Trish Somerville!!

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

How Karen Carpenter c**kblocked me

My friend and past Blogguest, Lisa, likes parties. But she strongly dislikes hosting parties.  This can be trouble when she wants to have people over.

So when one needs to happen - like this weekend in which her new band, Chill Factory X, did their first gig - I'm always happy to fly to wherever she is and help. Because I like hosting parties. I think of it as an extension of my job...I produce the party.

We clean up nice!

Chill Factory X

While I was helping out this weekend it made me think back to a time when Lisa lived in Cleveland, OH. It was winter and she was throwing a party that involved another batch of musicians, a drum group she was performing with. I had been out to Cleveland several times at that point; once I was there to belly dance in Parade the Circle with her drum group. It was ridiculously fun and I ended up having a little crush on her drum teacher.

He was cute in a "dad" sort of way (not really my usual type) and crusty as fuck (totally my type). We were both sarcastic and had good repartee. This all produced some sparks and it felt like we were moving toward an evening of adult fun.

So there I was at this party. It was super cold outside. Everyone had left or gone to bed and I was staying in the basement guest room which was pretty perfect for privacy. We were sitting on the couch, chatting, having a drink, listening to music. Everything was lined up for a lovely conclusion to the evening. The music we were listening to turned over and he suggested I choose the next album. At this point, I remember feeling a bit shy about that because he's a musician and I'm not. But I was a girl with a mission so I went to the cd collection (this was many years ago) and picked If I Were a Carpenter, which is an album of Carpenters covers. And this isn't just a bunch of shitty covers, this features Shonen Knife, Sonic Youth and 4 Non Blondes to name a few.

We were listening and chatting and all of a sudden he's like "Oh, I gotta go, it's really late." 

Wait, what? Did I look bad? Was I stinky? What the fuck happened?

The next morning, Lisa was sure we'd had a sleepover guest so when I downloaded the situation to her she was as stumped as I was. Later, when she asked him about it, she found out that he was horrified that I had chosen to listen to the Carpenters. 

What. A. Fucking. Snob.

This weekend was the exact opposite in which, at the 11th hour of flirting with a completely viable dude, I was like "Thanks but no." But it wasn't about anything as snooty as what music he listened to. 

Post-party detritus: all that was left was half a cupcake and some Coke.

Midnight, Texas - NBC, released in 2017

This is the most recent series I binge-watched. There is only one season so far but it's slated for another. This was recommended to me by a woman who works at my local market. What? You don't chat about TV shows with your checker?  Clearly, you are missing out. We have discovered that we watch many of the same shows and she didn't steer me wrong on this one. 

Midnight, Texas is based on a book series by Charlaine Harris, who also wrote the Sookie Stackhouse series that became HBO's True Blood. I tried to read the Stackhouse books. I really did. But her writing is kind of crap. She's clearly more of an idea gal.

Midnight is a town in Texas where the veil between normal life and the supernatural is very thin so hijinx ensue. It's not deep or revelatory in any way, but it's fun. There are some kick ass women characters (particularly Olivia who is an assassin), handsome dudes who go shirtless on occasion, and Season One gets resolved in truly the most expedient way. I'd tell you but it would be a huge spoiler.

Oh, and did I mention there's a talking cat. A. Talking. Cat.

(My drink pairing for this series is probably a beer and a shot. Because Texas.)

My takeaways:

1. We all know I have a tin palette, so don't blame me if you feel like Midnight, Texas is just fluff. Cuz it is. Nothin' wrong with fluff.

2. I was sick during this party weekend and on Saturday I had a migraine of epic proportions. I'm no doctor or anything, but my remedy of DayQuil, SineOff, Excedrin Migraine and a gin and tonic worked WONDERS.

3. And because a few of us had colds, I renamed the band from Chill Factory X to Chill Factory Rx.

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

Shit I Watched on the Plane- UK edition

Recently, I went traveling. I don't have the luxury of being "Retired Sue" for 3 months of the year anymore, but that won't stop me from sneaking some trips into my new full-time-worker status. First journey - London and Edinburgh.

I've been to both these cities before but not for many years. It was a real treat to go back to both of these amazing places. I went with friends and met up with more friends who are living in the UK. It was absolutely a party.

As a native Californian it's always mind-blowing to see super ancient buildings next to a Starbucks. Oh, that chapel was built in 1300? Cool. I think the oldest building in the city I grew up in is probably from the 1950's (just kidding...the Winchester Mystery House was built in 1884).

Some trip highlights:

• I fed a lot of my movie/TV watching passions while I was there. I visited the Sherlock Holmes Museum and took the Harry Potter Studio Tour. Both were great fun. If you are at all a fan of Harry Potter or filmmaking, it's worth going on the studio tour. Actual sets, concept art...it's a film geek's dream. I could have camped out for hours in the room that housed the entire Hogwarts model. It was majestic.

Hogwarts!

• We spent 4 days in Edinburgh. I have had a weird love affair with Edinburgh since the first time I went there about 25 years ago. Something about it just fascinates me. We took a day trip through some of the lowlands - Stirling Castle, Loch Lomond - and touched into a tiny bit of the highlands. While I loved every stop on this tour, the highlight was meeting some Highland Cows (or Harry Coos in the local vernacular). Hamish was the "leader". There were two others that didn't seem to have names so we dubbed them "Beyonce" and "Eric". 

Hamish and I say Pffftttt.

There is no part of Edinburgh that isn't picturesque including the tourists!

• Also in Edinburgh we did a tour of a "close" which is like an alley where people lived from the 1600's on. They are very claustrophobic because the city sort of built up around them. Because we are classy, our two takeaways were "Gardy-loo" which is what you yell when you toss your chamber pot twice a day (it's from the French for "Watch your water" or something like that) and "Thunderbox" which is what one resident called his "fancy" toilet (it was just a box, honestly).
• We spent an incredibly rainy day trying to see some of the sights of London. We sloshed around the London Eye and a disappointing Big Ben (It was COMPLETELY covered in scaffolding) then on to Buckingham Palace. At this point it was so rainy that we looked like we had just come out of a pool so we ran to a pub and drank gin and tonics until it abated. We ended that day by going to the Victoria & Albert museum which was lovely.
• We did a crazy escape-room-type thing one evening. It's called Crystal Maze and it's based off an old TV game show in England.  It's very goofy and you have a "maze master" who runs your team from challenge to challenge trying to win crystals that eventually equal time in the "dome" where you catch gold tokens. The most gold tokens win. We were ABYSMAL. We won 3 crystals (out of a potential 16). Our maze master was very encouraging but when we realized that everyone else had at least 8 crystals we understood that we sucked. Sadly, one of the rules was that we couldn't be visibly drunk to play. I think that would have served us well.

Worst Crystal Maze team ever!!

• I got to spend some time with an old friend of mine, Gareth, who I haven't seen in 16 years. It was like no time at all had passed and that made my heart very happy indeed.

We look JUST the same as 16 years ago. Honest.

Now let's get to some Revues.

USA to LONDON:

The Good Place - TV series, season 2, 3 episodes 

If you know anything about me at all, you know I've already seen season 2 (all episodes) but it's nice to see family when you are flying overseas.

Thumbs up!

Peter Rabbit - released in 2018

I really wanted to watch this movie. I love James Corden and the supporting voice cast seems great (Sia, Daisy Ridley, Margot Robbie). Sadly, this became a Sleeper Film for me (Sleeper Films are the movies that you use for white noise to help you fall asleep on a plane). The character design is adorable and the animation looked really good...judging by the few minutes I was awake. I'd like to watch it again.

Thumbs sleepy.

Peter Rabbit - released in 2018

So I tried to watch it again immediately. Same outcome. Zzzzz.

Thumbs still sleepy.

The Greatest Showman - released in 2018

I've seen this before. I revue'd it. I loved it.  I watched it while I was eating breakfast on the plane. It was the perfect thing to not pay much attention to.

Thumbs up!

LONDON TO USA:

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle - released in 2018

Apparently I like to watch films that have both the Rock and Kevin Hart on international flights (I watched Central Intelligence last year on a flight). My jury was WAY out on this one. So imagine my surprise when I was laughing out loud for much of it. It's funny, it's got heart, it's the Rock, Jack Black, Karen Gillan. It's a new take on Jumanji - they've made it a video game by some magical trickery that the game itself pulls. It sucks 4 high school students into the jungle and we see them play the game via their avatars (the Rock, Black, Hart and Gillan). Jack Black is particularly good as a popular snotty girl who is horrified to be a fat, male cartographer named "Shelly".

Thumbs up!

The Post - released in 2017

I wanted to see this in the theater and I'm not really sure why I didn't. Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks, the first woman publisher of a major newspaper. Good stuff. Sadly, it was a bit too cerebral for me on a flight so I slept through most of it. Weirdly, it was the only point on the whole flight home that I did sleep. Dang it.

Thumbs probably up.

Thor: Ragnarok - released in 2017

I'll admit that I probably missed some of the subtle plot points of this movie (thankfully Marvel films don't rely on subtlety) but overall I enjoyed it very much. Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston are both really great as Thor and Loki - their chemistry together is fun to watch. And both are handsome which is a total bonus. Cate Blanchett plays the sister no one knew they had (she's also the Goddess of Death or some such thing) and she's - as always - fantastic. He costume is amazing - she has hair that turns into horns! Take that, Medusa! Jeff Goldblum makes his Marvel debut In this film as the Grandmaster - a nutty being who stages gladiator-type games on his planet. He's insane as only Jeff Goldblum can play it - totally crazy but you kind of buy into it. This film is directed by Taika Waititi which is also a bonus. He infuses wonderful humor into everything he touches. He also is the voice of Korg, a rock monster that is equally as charming as Groot in Guardians of the Galaxy (but with a better vocabulary). As I'm doing a bit of research on this, I'm discovering that there are several cameos I missed (Loki puts on a play in Asgard) so I imagine I'll be watching this one again, too. 

Thumbs up!

(Overall drink pairings - if you are on a flight, drink a lot of water, people. It's important to stay hydrated!)

My takeaways:

#1 - My seat mate on the flight home was a charming young woman who was flying to SF for a work conference. We even exchanged numbers. Normally I'm not nearly that nice on a flight, I'm not sure what got into me. Maybe the UK is good for me?

#2 - Now that I'm working for a living, I need to figure out how much vacation I can squeeze out of a year. Two weeks seems so short, doesn't it?

#3 - I kind of really want to go back to Scotland.

xoxo...hastagSueslife

Murder, She Wrote

I inadvertently went down a weird Agatha Christie rabbit hole recently. I didn't mean to...there was no rhyme or reason. Suddenly I realized I had watched 3 different Christie based things within a couple weeks. That's just begging for a "blog" post, right?

I'd classify myself as a mild Agatha Christie fan. I read some of her books when I was young and I've seen many of the films based on her books although I've never watched the Marple or Poirot BBC series. In the end, I realize I'm not a huge fan of ensemble pieces. I like them well enough but they can become a bit taxing, you know. So many characters to remember. So much drama. 

With that said, I did attend a murder mystery party not long ago, hosted by the awesome Kristin. It's pretty much a Christie ensemble murder story with lots of booze. This was great fun topped off by the fact that my randomly-chosen character was the co-murderer with Beth's randomly-chosen character! Art imitating life? Well, not unless the victim is a bottle of champagne. In that case, lock us up - we're serial killers!

Can you tell we are all trying to stay in character for the photo?

Agatha Christie led a pretty interesting life - her family believed her mother had "second sight" and was psychic, she had a rather bohemian childhood and traveled a great deal which became the basis of many of her stories. She divorced Colonel Christie in the late 1920's after he confessed to being in love with another woman. This is when she famously went missing and lost her memories for 10 days. I'd LOVE to know what really happened - she was famous enough at this point that there was a country-wide search for her - but she always maintained she had no recollection of what happened before turning up in a Harrogate hotel. Fascinating. My favorite bit of trivia about this is that Arthur Conan Doyle gave one of Christie's gloves to a "spirit medium" to help find her. Like the spirit medium was a bloodhound or something. Nice, dude.

Here is how my Agatha Christie journey progressed:

Three-ish weeks ago:

Murder on the Orient Express - released in 2017

I felt like watching a movie one Friday night and this was in the Amazon Prime lineup, so I chose it. 

If I were to rename it, I'd call it Mustache on the Orient Express because:

Hercule Poirot being overtaken by his facial hair.

I'm having a deja vu moment about this film. I feel like I've either written about it before or written about Kenneth Branagh before (well, I did in my Harry Potter post ages ago) but maybe it's just because after I see a film he is in, all I think about is how much he must love himself and what a dope he was to leave Emma Thompson. 

In all seriousness, he's a good director and a good actor. I generally enjoy his films and this is no exception although IMHO his best film was Dead Again. The cast was great - Daisy Ridley, Leslie Odum, Jr, Olivia Colman, Judi Dench, Michelle Pfeiffer, Josh Gad...so many that hardly anyone got much screen time. Another drawback of ensemble casts. 

Branagh plays Poirot, who is a complete egomaniac but really good at his job, so I feel like with the exception of his fake French accent and that atrocious mustache he's pretty much playing himself.

(My drink pairing for this is a glass of Raki - Turkey's version of Ouzo. Don't breathe near any flames!!)

Last Sunday, 3pm:

Doctor Who, Season 4 Ep 7 "The Unicorn and the Wasp"

I had just finished listening to a really great book - Kate Atkinson's Life After Life - and as I was researching the reader (who I enjoyed very much) I found out she played Agatha Christie in a Doctor Who episode. I kind of remembered it, but decided to watch it again.

It's a really fun episode that takes place right before she goes missing so she hadn't written many of her books yet and she certainly didn't know that she would become the best-selling author of all time. There are a ton of subtle and not-so-subtle references to her characters and books which are fun to identify. 

It has an ensemble cast (that very much mirrors Clue, actually) but it also has a giant alien wasp, so it's all good.

(My drink pairing for this is a Bee's Knees. A 1920's based cocktail made with gin and honey. Delightful and sting-y!)

The TARDIS makes an appearance.

Last Sunday, 7pm:

Crooked House - released in 2017

After watching some more Doctor Who, I decided (again) that I was in a movie mood. Crooked House looked interesting and I didn't realize it was based on a Christie novel until I read the description on Amazon.

Our protagonist is a PI named Charles Hayward so we aren't getting the Christie usual detectives (Poirot or Marple). Charles is younger and previously had an affair with the woman who hired him. This makes it a bit more "noir" to me and a bit seedier than I expect from Agatha.

Anyway, it's about a fucked up family so...guess what...ensemble cast. This has Glen Close, Terence Stamp, Christina Hendricks and Gillian Anderson to name a few. 

A note on Gillian - in the ensuing years since X-Files, Gillian Anderson has lost weight and gained acting chops (she was great in American Gods). She also, oddly, has gained a permanent British accent, a-la Madonna. I looked it up (because seriously!) and apparently she lived in England for a bit when she was young so now she has an accent that "changes depending on who she's talking to". 

Is there an eye roll emoji? Oh yes, there is!  

(My drink pairing for this is whatever your favorite HOUSE cocktail is...get what I did there??)

My takeaways:

#1 - Maybe my favorite ensemble film is Murder by Death.

#2 - Did anyone know that Agatha Christie wrote "romances" under a pseudonym? According to her daughter, while they are all about love in one form or another, they are not traditional romances because none have a happy ending.

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

Short Ties, High Pants: Sci Fi movies of the 1950s

I'm not always a person who needs things to be literal but there are certain things I stand firm on.

An example was a few years ago when my book club read a Zombie novel called Zone One by Colson Whitehead. Whitehead has won a Pulitzer (not for this novel) so the man is no slouch. We knew going in that this was going to be a well written book. Still - one expects at least ONE character to be bitten by a Zombie. I mean, it can be a well-read Zombie if that makes everyone feel better.

Anyway, after reading the book, I felt robbed. Not one nibble.

So guess what doesn't happen in The Day The Earth Stood Still? Hmph.

As followers of this blog know, my dear friend Beth honors her late father's birthday by watching a film that he loved on that day. This has been dubbed "White Buffalo Day" because White Buffalo was one of his all-time favorite films. Last year we watched They Might Be Giants which is not at all about the band. So, true to form, this year we stocked up on a lot of wine and cheese and watched another favorite.

The Day the Earth Stood Still - released in 1951

So I think if the Earth ACTUALLY stood still, wouldn't we all fly off into space? I mean, gravity would be gone, right? I'm no scientist but I'm pretty sure I'm right, or at least on the right track, about this one...

There is really almost nothing not to like about sci fi films from the 50s. They typically have very interesting production design and almost always directly point at the political climate of their time. McCarthyism was running rampant in the 50s; there was a lot of fear about Communist invasion or a nuclear holocaust. People were scared and although filmmakers were discouraged to directly criticize or point this out, they still did and they weren't all that subtle. Mutant bugs, aliens descending from other planets, you name it, it's in there.

This film is no different. A lovely gentleman alien, Klaatu, comes to Earth with his massive robot. (No, this is not a euphemism. Stay with me.) 

Klaatu and Gort, a match made in the heavens

He says he comes in peace and the military's response is to shoot him. Later we find out (in an "I told you so" moment) that those that live on other planets think the Earth's inhabitants are weapon-loving jerks (I'm paraphrasing) and they are worried about what we'll do.

Wait. When was this made? Sigh.

This film was directed by Robert Wise who started his career as an editor on films like Citizen Kane. He went on to direct some big budget, iconic films - West Side Story and Sound of Music. TDTESS was an early directorial effort (his debut as a director was on Curse of the Cat People which is a great film!). The cinematography is gorgeous - a bit Noir, a bit Expressionism, a lot of artistic shadows.

(Quick note about German Expressionism and Film Noir - in film (similar to the art movement), Expressionism was about depicting inner turmoil. This genre came to life in 1920s Germany, highlighting the post WWI atmosphere that was full of anxiety and distrust. And the Noir genre created feelings of pessimism and menace with their moody lighting effects. So this is a totally FUN movie!) 

Also, many films clearly are influenced by TDTESS. Just for a start, I noticed that two animated films, Monsters vs Aliens and Iron Giant pull heavily from this film. 

But really, let's give a shout out to Gort, the 8-foot robot that is only trying to protect Klaatu. In real life the actor was 7ft 7in, so this was some true method acting. His robot suit looked like it was made of neoprene and, irritatingly, kept folding at the knees. I mentioned that he was "moving all fabric-y". I blame the wine.

Honestly, this film could have been made right now. The same fears are relevant in our current political climate. 

The only differences I see is that the soundtrack made heavy use of the Theremin (Of course. All 50s sci fi films did.) and all the men wore short ties and high pants. That shit wouldn't fly today.

(My drink pairing for this film is a Manhattan. Not the project, just the cocktail.)

On the flip side, Beth and I decided to round out our experience by watching the remake.

The Day the Earth Stood Still - released in 2008

A short message to Keanu Reeves who plays Klaatu:

Keanu. Dude. For some reason I always want to give you the benefit of the doubt (I mean, you are the impetus of my motto "One doesn't have to be good at one's job for me to want to have a fling" Well, my motto is nastier, actually, but sometimes my aunt reads this) but you never deliver. What is with the ONE expression for the entire film? Was your director really okay with this?

Keanu as Klaatu - note the expression

In the hospital - same expression

Doing math - SAME EXPRESSION

So, the remake. It's a pretty good film, actually. It's much more like what you'd expect a sci fi film of the Aughts to be. Good, solid effects. Good, solid acting (well, mostly). Good, but kind of unremarkable, in my opinion.

Here's the thing. The 50's version is a lot more hopeful and uplifting. The Aughts are way more about telling it like it is. A perfect example is the single mother storyline. In the 50's, the kid is of the tie-wearing, polite, "gosh, golly" variety. Annoyingly so, actually. And the mom, Patricia Neal, is just looking to get remarried. The '08 version's kid is played by Jaden Smith (that's right...heir to the Fresh Prince's throne) and the stepmom/scientist is played by Jennifer Connolly. Since she's a stepmom, they don't really have a connection at the outset but eventually - when humanity is literally being wiped out by the nano bot aliens - they have a moment and realize they're cool. Well, phew. Just in time.

My favorite moment, though - and in true Beth/Sue style - is when Jaden hopes Keanu can bring his long dead father back to life. When Keanu woodenly lets him know that's impossible, Jaden reacts by crying while Beth and I immediately and simultaneously launched into our very best Zombie impressions. Braaiiiins.

There are a couple stand-out cool things - 

1) We see the alien's origin story of why he has a human body (spoiler - they take a DNA sample). Keanu is basically "born" out of this awful looking placenta-type material when he enters our atmosphere. Beth kept calling it "Tilapia". Thankfully not my favorite seafood.

2) 2008 Gort has this really cool looking texture (not a man in a neoprene suit!) - it looked a bit grainy and had some shimmery movement. Turns out it was foreshadowing Gort dissolving into the little nano robot bugs that were destroying all of humankind. LOTS of particle animation (think the big sand face in The Mummy). 

In the end, though, the '08 version of TDTESS was pretty bleak. One reviewer at the time summed it up perfectly: This remake of the 1951 genre classic might have better visions and visuals than the low-budget original, but it lacks the heart and sense of wonder the first film had.

And the Earth never stopped spinning.

(My drink pairing for this film is a Fuzzy Navel in honor of Beth's dad. If you remember from last year, he was so amused by this drink that he bought all the ingredients but ultimately thought it was terrible. So let's make one, toss it and have a glass of wine instead!)

My takeaways:

#1 - Sci fi movies of the 50s are really fantastic.

#2 - Robots of the 50s are also pretty fantastic even when their costumes are...less than fantastic.

#3 - Happy birthday Jim Masse!

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

Small Booze

Happy Week between Western Easter and Eastern Easter, everybody!

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before but my take on Easter (either one) is that if Christ rises from the grave, he's a Zombie. This is plain and simple math in my book. 

Logical consequence:  

When one rises from the dead, one is classified as a Zombie.

Jesus rises from the dead.

Therefore, Jesus is a Zombie.

Thanks to David Fitzgerald for posting this on FB.

This was kind of a banner year for my traditional Easter gathering. Not only zombies but it was also April Fool's Day AND my cat's birthday. Amazing.

But the cherry on top of this monumental day was the once-in-a-lifetime event - NBC's live performance of Jesus Christ Superstar, starring John Legend, Sarah Bareillis and Alice Cooper. WHAT??? Sign me up.

If you know me at all, you know I live for these train wreck events. They almost never fail to deliver in their absurdity - although The Wiz was pretty "meh" (see my thoughts on it here:   ) I think I've seen every one of them except A Christmas Story. I guess I just didn't have it in me last December to brave it.

I admire that NBC tries their hardest to bring a bit of Broadway to television - I mean everyone has to have goals, right, no matter how lofty?  So here goes.

Jesus Christ Superstar - aired April 2018

Too bad you can't see Alice's shoes.

I had been seeing the commercials for this show for weeks and every time I thought, "Alice Cooper looks NUTS". So of COURSE I was going to watch.

This year's Easter gathering was no less boozy than any other year so my NBC live event partner-in-crime, Beth and I tipsily cleaned up the party detritus and sat down to watch the spectacle. Beth's husband Todd was a hard NO on this one so he left before it even started.

I'm going to start by saying that I'm not a big fan of Andrew Lloyd Weber. It's not like Sondheim where his music actually pisses me off, but it rarely resonates with me.  There was a tribute to him on NBC for his 70th birthday last week (and to garner interest in the show, I imagine. Sorry Andrew - HBD!!) so I learned a bit of Weber history. JCS was originally created as a concept album and, once it gained popularity, it became a stage production, debuting in 1971 with Ben Vereen playing Judas! Essentially, it's a rock opera.

So, picture this. Beth and I are sitting on my couch, a bit drunk. Neither of us are religious so we are kind of spotty on the events leading up to the crucifixion and it had been a long day of brunching so our attention span left a bit to be desired.

In one of the first songs the lyric is "Cool your face down". Beth looked at me and said "What the fuck does that mean?" I raised a knowing brow and said "The 70's" like that explained anything at all. Apparently this was good enough for Beth and set the tone for the remainder of the musical. 

Let's be honest - musicals that have no spoken dialog are tough even when you are 100% paying attention so you all can imagine how this went.

I think the set designer and costumer were both trying to make the look updated and relevant. The set design ended up looking a lot like the sets for Rent - industrial stripped down scaffolding. And the costumes were, I think, trying to invoke the feeling of the flower child era with an updated feel. In the end, I kept thinking it looked like JCS meets Mad Max and Beth called it Jesus Christ Burning Man. Which is decidedly singable, actually.

The next batch of costuming that caught our eye was Caiaphas and his gang. They are mean guys so they look like they belong in the Matrix with long, black, plastic-looking coats and interesting hairdos. 

Don't even get me started on Pontius Pilate and his purple pleather. He's an alliteration gone bad.

Our final comment on costuming were the lepers. Beth dubbed them "Lepers by Hot Topic".

About an hour out from the end, past Blogguest Linda texted me, asking if I was watching. This was a blessing in disguise because she was able to clarify some plot points for us. Plus, we could commiserate on feeling like Jesus was being portrayed as really whiny and a bit douchey, quite frankly. There was one odd bit in the middle where Mary Magdalene was bringing all the disciples white scarves. We asked Linda what the significance of the scarves were, but she could only offer that perhaps they were on sale?

Please note that I've refrained from discussing the acting but I can remain silent no longer! John Legend is lovely to look at and I really like that one song about his wife, Chrissy Teigen (who is amazing - check out her Twitter posts) but I'm not going to give it to him as an actor. After Jesus had been whipped by the crowds I turned to Beth and mentioned that he had the same facial expression as he did at the beginning of the show. Also, much of his "acting" was breathing in a staccato rhythm and hunching over.

But most disappointing? Alice Cooper. As King Herod, he only had one song and the most we could say about it was Linda texting "Check out Alice's shoes!" Yup.

(My drink pairing for this production and any dead-rise-from-the-grave party is the aptly named Zombie cocktail.)

My takeaways:

#1 - I named this post Small Booze because I did an adult Easter egg hunt and that's what I was calling the airplane-sized bottles of hooch.  

#2 - Even though I am constantly disappointed by NBC's live shows I will continue to give them a chance. That must be true love, right?

#3 - As far as rock operas go, give me Tommy any day of the week.

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

Truth is stranger than fiction

Generally, I'm not a big fan of reality shows. You know I love the Voice (it's my guilty pleasure) but others, particularly shows about families, leave me a bit cold.

Oddly, in the past couple of weeks I've devoured two reality TV shows and one film but to be fair, I couldn't tell if a couple of them were "MOCKumentaries" or not. They weren't and I love a theme, so here goes.

I think I'm going to present from most normal to most bizarre:

Queer Eye - Netflix original, released 2018

I loved the original Queer Eye back in the day. I mean, who wouldn't want a bunch of fabulous men coming in and sprucing everything up? 

I love this new take on the series as well. Naturally it's the same set up and I think the Fab Five are equally as awesome as the original group. In the first episode they say "The original show was fighting for tolerance. Our fight is for acceptance." This hit me in the feels and I thought "yay them!"   I know that all these types of shows and films are baby steps, but even baby steps move that kid forward, right? 

They set this season in Georgia, which unsurprisingly triggers issues for some of the Fab Five as well as the men they make over.  I appreciate that the show isn't shying away from talking about the triggers. Also, they made over a gay man which I thought was great. I mean, anyone can have an outdated look and this felt like the show was trying to advocate inclusion.

Lastly, I like that these guys don't seem to be imposing their own personal style on the men they are making over. They are taking elements from the guy's normal life and updating. One always hopes that many of the "upgrades" will stick, although my guess is the first thing to go will be the beard or face moisturizers. Sorry Grooming Guru (and Gay of Thrones genius) Jonathan.

(Drink pairing: while there are a million fabulous cocktails to go with this, I think I'd choose a Mint Julep because The South.)

Cutie-pies!

Baby Ballroom - Channel 5Star original, released in 2017

Between this entry and the next I'm really not sure which is more bizarre but I'm committing to this order in the rankings, dammit!

This show is about a British ballroom dancing couple, Warren and Jane Bullock,  who own a dance studio called Zig Zag Dance Factory in Wolverhampton, UK located in the West Midlands near Birmingham (that's a mouthful!). They have 17-year-old triplet daughters, India, Savannah and Alicia. Two are following in their parents dance steps and one wants to be a scientist. She proves this by wearing a dress with a planet/star pattern. Point taken, Savannah.

Warren claims they have produced the most winning ballroom couples of all schools in the UK - that he knows about. So there's that. We follow 4 main couples and a few ancillary ones on their ballroom journey. The thing is, they are all children. The eldest couple is still in the "Under 16s" category. Did you even know there was an "Under 16s" category? I didn't. Also, there is a Girls Only category because there aren't enough boys to go around. Sigh. In addition to the Under 16 couple, we follow an 11/12 year old couple and  a pair of couples that are about 8 - 9 years old. 

This show is like some nutty mashup of Strictly Ballroom and Kids Say the Darnedest Things. It's fucking WEIRD. I. Love. It.

I was worried that all the parents were going to be the British version of Dance Moms, which would mean I'd hate them all (One girl's mother actually recruited a boy from Romania and houses him. He's good so they win.), but many of them just look frazzled by the fact that they are working full time jobs and all their money goes to their children's "careers" thing to win ballroom dance competitions.  So, not surprisingly, we see some seriously competitive children. With adorable accents.

My favorite couple are Jack and Emily - 8 and 9 years old respectively. They are cute as buttons and in one interview Jack lists the things you need to win, one being "having a great dance partner". Emily blushes and Jack grabs her hand. They are SO STINKIN ADORABLE.

This show is all about dancing, glitter, bronzer, hairspray and attitude. What's not to love?

(My drink pairing for this is a Shirley Temple. C'mon! They're kids!!)

They are all ridiculously cute, right?

Chicken People - released in 2016

Many years ago (maybe around 2009ish?) I was trying to find my usual go-to Tintin calendar and discovered they weren't available. Distraught (yes, I was!), I searched for something else and came across the Extraordinary Chicken calendar. I found it hilarious and started posting the monthly photos on Facebook with whatever weird caption I thought worked. Since then, I have gotten the reputation of being a chicken fan. I mean, I do like them and some are absolutely majestic, it's just not a reputation I ever anticipated having. Two of my friends suggested I see this film.

This movie. OMFG. Right up until I looked it up on the Interwebz I thought it was a satire. It's often been compared to Best In Show and that's 100% accurate. It follows three chicken breeders who are gearing up to compete in the Ohio National Poultry Show. There are also some wonderful vignettes with other chicken enthusiasts reminiscent of the love story interviews in When Harry Met Sally.

The filmmaker lovingly delves into the psyches of the three main competitors - revealing deep seated reasons for their obsession, whether it's battling addiction or feeling less like an outcast. It's oddly moving, considering there are also scenes where their chicken contestant takes a shit before being shown so much cleaning needs to be done (often including the blow drying of hindquarters).

I think it's been compared to Best in Show because, while Christopher Guest is clearly poking fun at dog shows, he does it with respect and love. As does this film.

(My drink pairing for this film is to take a peek at this website, Drinking with Chickens. Kate is someone I'd love to have a drink with!!)

These chicken loving twins reminded me of the awful girls in the Shining.

My takeaways:

#1 - I guess I'm cool with reality TV if it's a bit fantastical.

#2 - I've always toyed with the idea of taking ballroom dancing classes - when I was belly dancing we rehearsed a few times at a ballroom studio. We became accustomed to the teacher droning "quick, quick, sloooow" while couples shuffled about.

#3 - A surprising amount of folks on Chicken People were fine with eating their own chickens. That was slightly horrifying to me.

xoxox....hashtagSueslife

Panthers and Lions, oh my.

Last weekend I saw Black Panther. So so good. The acting was great, the costumes were amazing, the sets were beautiful, the music sublime. And the message. Such an important film to come out in this political and social environment. I love that a Marvel film is highlighting and addressing issues that need exposure. Granted director Ryan Coogler is also responsible for Fruitvale Station but I still think that speaks volumes.

Honestly, though, I'm not here to delve into controversial subjects. I have my own thoughts and feelings on these subjects and am happy to discuss but it's up to everyone to follow their own ideology.

What I do want to talk about, however, is how Black Panther reminded me of The Lion King. And oddly, when I got home from seeing BP (albeit it was a slightly boozy viewing but you all expect nothing less from me, yes?) The Lion King was on TV. Serendipity. What was less serendipitous was it being followed by The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride. But we'll get to that.

Meeee-ow!!

Simba is SO serious.

I was an adult when The Lion King was released but just like Simba, who couldn't wait to be king, I couldn't wait to see this movie! My boyfriend at the time and I had had a huge fight the morning it was released so as a "sorry I was a dick" gesture, he took me to see it that evening. This was a simpler time when you could decide that day to see a movie on opening night and you'd get in. Glory days. And even though I didn't see Black Panther the day it was released, I went to a theatre with a bar so that's a win in my book.

So here are my thoughts...

Compare and Contrast: The Lion King and Black Panther

Compare:

• I noticed that BP's art direction leaned toward warm colors (unlike many Marvel films), exemplified by the gorgeous landscapes of Wakanda. I loved it and it was the first thing that reminded me of LK. That opening shot with baby Simba. Warm colors, beautiful African landscape.
• Both Simba and T'Challa's fathers shape their paths. (To be clear, this was also a story point (cats and their dads!) years before in Kimba, the White Lion, a cartoon that came on before Speed Racer. I LOVED this show when I was little)
• Uncles play a big role.
• It's probably insulting to say that the gorgeous Black Panther soundtrack reminded me of the Lion King's music, but it did. I never claimed to be highbrow, people

Simba and Kimba in a weird "fan fic" moment

Contrast:

• While Simba's uncle was just a straight up bad guy, T'Challa's uncle had more nuance. He did some bad shit but he felt it was for the greater good. Plus - Sterling K Brown and tears. Kills me every time.
• NO ONE in The Lion King lives in Oakland, CA.
• The Lion King's depiction of females can't hold a candle to the magnificent women in Black Panther. The Wakanda warrior women KICK ASS.
• There was not one character in Black Panther that I could compare to Pumbaa or Timon. And really, when Timon dances the hula to distract the hyenas, it's a piece of cinematic brilliance.

Then there was The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride. 

If you haven't seen it, I'm just gonna say that I wouldn't be spouting about how proud I was if I were SImba.

(My drink pairing for Black Panther is a Moscow Mule at the Alamo Drafthouse bar, The Bull and the Bear (you should really have two). I don't know what magic they do to these drinks (something about the ginger) but they are the best I've ever had.)

My takeaways:

1. No matter where you go, it's good to be the king.  (Two of my favorite movie quotes mashed up. Can you identify them both?)

2. Is it clear that I really loved Black Panther? I can't wait for a sequel.

3. Apparently, I love a good father/son story.

xoxox...hashtagSueslife