I solemnly swear I am up to no good.

R.I.P Alan Rickman.

Happy New Year, gang!  Here's to 2016!

I had the whole Christmas week off this year.  Glorious.  And although I had ample time to do the hundred things I *should* have done, I chose to park it on my couch and catch up on my TV watching/cat snuggling.  Initially I was thinking I would start a new series on Netflix that I could binge on.  But it was Christmas.  And that deserves Hallmark Channel and  holiday movies.  What to do?  It's a Wonderful Life?  Miracle on 34th St?  Just Friends? (if you haven't seen this, I recommend it.  Anna Faris is hilarious in it!)  Nothing was really resonating with me until I thought about revisiting the Potter films.  I haven't seen them in a long time, in fact I had only seen the Deathly Hollows films once.  So, I embarked on a journey that resulted in about 20 hours of film watching, many hours of cat purring and 2 - 3 bags of popcorn.

Like I said before, it's been years since I've watched any Potter film and I've never watched the whole series in a row.  Additionally I realized that I have never really taken these movies at face value.  By that I mean, I typically saw each film (with the exception of Sorcerer's Stone) the morning they opened and had just finished the corresponding book.  So each time I was fairly bursting with excitement and Rowling love.  And I was always a tiny bit disappointed.  Never by the visuals, each film is rich and opulent.  But I was pretty critical of the fact that parts of the books were left out and I was a bit harsh, quite honestly, about Harry, Ron and Hermione's acting skills.

What I discovered on this journey is that the franchise, as stand-alone films, is really strong.  The movies are all quite good and they tell the story very competently.  Steve Kloves adapted all the books to screenplays with the exception of Order of the Phoenix.  I think he's pretty amazing; culling down those massive tomes into something appropriate for a 2.5 hour film couldn't have been easy.  Plus each of those decisions must have been like Sophie's choices for JK Rowling, so I imagine he was constantly defending his decisions.  Kudos to Kloves.  And the acting talent across the board is amazing.  There are so many highly talented and well respected actors in each film, sometimes with only one line of dialog.  And the kids got SO much better as time went on.  They have become pretty solid actors in their own right.

This was sort of a pajama, christmas cookie and popcorn fueled trip down memory lane.  And here is where I landed.

(P.S. There are spoilers below in case, for some weird reason, you are unfamiliar with HP :)

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - released in 2001

Fun fact:  called Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone everywhere but the US and India.  Sigh.

I had read this book a year or so (maybe) before the film came out.  I actually had heard people talking about it, so I picked up the paperback at SFO and read the whole thing on the plane rides to and from LA.  When I heard they were making the film I was so excited.  I was working in Montara at the time, a small town right on the coast.  The closest movie theatre to me was an ancient theatre in Pacifica (I don't recall the name).  It was seriously disgusting, down to sticky floors that made my shoes make horrible noises.  But I didn't care ONE BIT.  I dove right into the world the filmmakers created for me.  It really was magical.  And for the most part, I felt that the casting was PERFECT.  Robbie Coltrane as Hagrid?  Couldn't be a better choice.  Maggie Smith as McGonagall?  Excellent.  Richard Harris as Dumbledore?  Heart melting.  And Alan Rickman as Snape.  Sublime.  

Also, all three kids: adorable.

Chris Columbus directed this film (of Home Alone and Mrs Doubtfire fame).  He's never been one of my favorite directors, I feel like he's a bit...pedestrian, for lack of a better word.  He clearly has the "touch" for working with children (minds out of the gutter, people - or is that just me?), so you gotta give him credit for that.  Perhaps that's why I feel like his work lacks some depth.  Maybe you can only go so deep with a bunch of ten and eleven year olds.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - released in 2002

I felt like in this installment, Chris Columbus was allowed to up his FX budget. He had three fully animated characters with rather large roles (Dobby, Fawkes and the basilisk) and a host of other FX heavy shots.

In this film, little Ginny Weasley comes to Hogwarts and she couldn't be more adorable.  I love her character and I feel that she ended up being well cast.  

I was happy to see Professor Sprout, who's played by Miriam Margolyes who plays Aunt Pru in my favorite Australian TV series, Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries!

But the best piece of casting in this film (and in his career, in my opinion) is Kenneth Branagh as Gilderoy Lockhart.  Honestly, I feel like J.K. Rowling must have written Lockhart with Branagh in mind, he's the PERFECT characterization of the egotistical, self absorbed teacher.

Also, our littles are starting to grow up in this one.  Harry (thankfully) still has his floppy hair and I don't think voices have *quite* changed in this film.  We are starting to see, though, that most of the boys are starting to win the height race against Harry.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - released in 2004

There are lots of changes by time we hit this movie.

Our kids are growing.  Voices have definitely changed, Hermione is starting to look like a young lady.  Sadly, Richard Harris passed away in October 2002, so Michael Gambon took over the role of Dumbledore.  When this initially happened, I couldn't imagine ANYONE else being Dumbledore.  Gambon did an excellent job, however, in this and the subsequent films.

Lots of new characters resulted in some more amazing casting.  Gary Oldman, David Thewlis and Timothy Spall came on as Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail.  They are all wonderful actors and their scenes together are pure acting gold.

This film is the first and only to be directed by Alfonso Cuaron.  According to the internet,  while Chris Columbus used a "Golden storybook" approach, Cuaron really expanded the look of the film by fleshing out the landscape around Hogwarts and desaturating the color palette. HIs shots are beautiful (in my opinion) and his transitions using wildlife (owls, creatures in the lake, etc) put me in the mind of a Peter Weir film (Picnic at Hanging Rock, The Last Wave...majestic stuff).  I did find his use of the Hogwarts clock tower with all it's gear-moving a tad heavy handed.  Felt like he was hammering that theme into us.  We get it, Alfonso.  Time turner.  Time travel.  TIME.  Time out.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - released in 2005

This is the movie where things start to get dark.  This is also the film where Harry gets a hair cut, which is a bit meh.  And Ron starts looking more adult which is also a bit meh. Hermione keeps looking prettier and prettier.

Again, we get some new characters in this film which brings with it another host of great talent.  Brendan Gleeson expertly plays Mad Eye Moody.  David Tennant (my favorite doctor!) plays Barty Crouch, Jr (this was released the same year as the new Dr Who, so it's a year before Tennant started his term at Doctor).  And the ill fated Cedric Diggory is played by Robert Pattinson.  I would say this might be his best role yet, not only because he isn't faking an American accent but because he's only in one film.

We see our first death in this film and...what we've all been waiting for....we get to see Voldemort.  Another amazing bit of casting...who would have thought that the man who was so dreamy and steamy in The English Patient could be so unrecognizable in this!  Also, in what couldn't be more British and almost Potter-esque, his full name is Ralph Nathaniel Twisleton-Wykeham-Fiennes.  Best. Name. Ever.

This film is directed by Mike Newell (Four Weddings and a Funeral, Enchanted April).  Oddly, the year following this film's release he directed a short called Harry Potter Spoof Movie in India with an all Indian cast.  Really, Mike Newell?  Was that your best option for 2006?

The color palette continues to get bleaker as the films progress and Newell states he wanted to structure this film like a "paranoid thriller".  I'd say he met his goal.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - released in 2007

Shit is getting real in this film.  This is the first of 4 films directed by David Yates.  He desaturated the color palette even more, making the films have a  blueish tint throughout.  His goal for the final three book adaptations was to bring a sense of "jeopardy" to the world.  

Harry and the gang are fully going through high school issues by now...I could have sworn I saw a zit on Harry's face in one of the closeups.  Also, they are learning about their sexuality.  For some reason, though, when Harry and Cho kiss it made me feel dirty.  Maybe I'm still thinking of him as an eleven year old.  Or maybe he just doesn't have any sex appeal.  Either way, ew.  And really, poor Harry.  Who wants to go through raging hormones at the same time you have to fight the Dark Lord?  Not cool.

We meet Luna Lovegood in this, beautifully played by Evanna Lynch.  She's a great character in the books, so I'm glad nothing was compromised in the casting.  We also get Professor Umbridge, with all her meowing kitten plates and pink suits.  Imelda Staunton plays Umbridge.  She is great in this role, emanating sickly sweet evilness.

The wand waving and flourishing in the Dumbledore/Voldemort fight at the end is excellent.  And, of course, the saddest of things: we lose Sirius Black.  I got weepy for more than just the Harry Potter character this time around.

This book was one of my favorites of the series.  I ended up being glad of the director  change here as I feel that Yates brought the right kind of feel to the adaptation.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - released in 2009

Again, directed by David Yates.  And getting darker all the time.

This film is a lot better than I remembered it, actually.  It has some really disturbing stuff in it, neither Rowling nor Yates shied away from this.  There is a scene where a student is floating above the ground after coming across a hexed pendant which is just chilling.  Her hair is floating around her and her expression is frozen in a scream. Creepy as shit.

The hormone stuff is still in full effect.  The boys are all deep voices and arm muscles.  Weird.

Also, we experience much sadness in this movie.  We lose Dumbledore and I will admit to tearing up when everyone puts their lit wands up toward the sky.  When I first saw the movie I had a concert flashback (raised lighters), but seeing it again, it's very touching.  Plus by this point, it was KILLING me that all these beloved characters were being offed.

The other thing that really hit me in this film (it's not that I didn't already know this, mind you) is what an incredibly nuanced performance Alan Rickman gives as Snape.  It just sort of hit me all over again.  He's seriously a brilliant actor.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1 released 2010

                                                                  Part 2 released 2011

I'm going to discuss these two films in one blurb.  I think it makes more sense that way.  Yates leads up both these final films.

First, I have to tell you all that I needed to wait nearly a week in between watching Part 1 and Part 2.  I was REALLY sad and needed a bit of a break.  Not only did I know my marathon was coming to the end, but so was the story.  And wow.  These two movies are so good.

A fun fact that I discovered (you might have all already known this) is that Warwick Davis, who plays Professor Flitwick ALSO plays Griphook the Gringott's Goblin.  I had NO idea!  He's great at both characters but honestly, there isn't ONE OTHER little person in all of England who could play one of these roles?  Hmmm.

Bill Nighy joins the cast in Part 1.  He is, as always, awesome (although he's pretty put together and normally I enjoy him most when he's a hot mess).  See what I mean about how these films have SUCH great supporting talent?  He was in like 3 scenes total.

Also, in Part 1 there is a beautifully animated piece telling the Tale of the Three Brothers, which explains what the Deathly Hallows are.  This was done at an animation/fx house in London called Framestore, which has also worked on many of the Potter films as well as many other major motion pictures.  It's really gorgeous.  

The death toll is raging and awful in these films.  Our first casualty is Hedwig and that nearly did me in. Then we end Part 1 with Dobby.  Goddammit!  Stop!   I ended up being sniffly through the whole of the second movie, too.  It's like one thing after another.  Not one punch was pulled.  Snape's story is absolutely heartbreaking.  We lose more of our favorite characters.  EVERYONE gets wrecked and makes hard decisions about the rest of their lives.  This is not a children's movie.

I was a little sad to see (when Ron and Harry are shirtless in one scene) that Rupert Grint's partying ways resulted in a bit of a beer belly.  And I was very pleased to see that even adding Neville's funky teeth, there is no denying that Matthew Lewis grew up to be quite a handsome man.

(It was tough to figure out a drink for each film, so I'd suggest pairing your marathon with several pitchers of Butterbeer, into which you can cry.)

My takeaways:

#1 - There are actual, real life Quidditch games now.  Like at colleges and stuff.  Amazing.

#2 - For some reason I thought Mrs Norris wasn't in all the films, but I'm happy to report she's shown at least once per film.

#3 - Ron Weasley is my absolute favorite character in the books. He is funny and loyal and brave in his own way.  Ron Weasley in the movies is consistently a bit of a disappointment because I love the written version of him so much.  Such is life.

#4 - I would totally do this marathon again.  Anyone want to join me?

xoxo....hashtagSueslife

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Happy New Year everyone!

Recently NBC aired their live broadcast of the Wiz.  It got me thinking about how many versions of the Wizard and Dorothy's story are out there.  It also made me long to see the original version.  I will admit, with the holidays and all, I've been a bit of a short attention span viewer so I was worried that I wasn't going to make it through the whole film without picking up my iPad or pausing it to do something else.

Well, I couldn't have been more wrong.  There are some films out there which absolutely suck you in and make you feel like a kid again.  All the wonder and amazement are still there for me when I watch that film.

So here's to 2016, my friends.  May it be a year filled with wonder and amazement.

The Wizard of Oz - released in 1939

I'm not really going to revue this film.  If you haven't seen it (which would shock me), I strongly urge that you do.  It's really wonderful and completely holds up to the test of time as long as you remember it was made in 1939 (some of the dialog is a bit dated).  I really watched this more so I could have some context for revue-ing the films below.

I've read so much about the lore of this film over the years.  I went on a mission to find some things I didn't know (and relay some of the more interesting ones that I did).

First, let's just mention that EVERYONE who wore some kind of makeup or extreme costume had major issues.  On the "not so serious" side, Ray Bolger (Scarecrow) had creases in his face from the prosthetics that were so deep they supposedly took a year to go away entirely.  And poor Bert Lahr's (Lion) costume weighed ONE HUNDRED pounds.  Apparently he sweat like a total pig because the lights for early Technicolor were so bright and hot that often the temps rose to 100 degrees.  Bad combo.  On the "serious" side, Margaret Hamilton (Wicked Witch) suffered burns on her face when her makeup caught fire after one of the explosions (her makeup was also made of copper so she couldn't eat anything when she had it on because it was toxic. Yum!). Jack Haley (Tinman) got a severe eye infection from his silver makeup and Buddy Epson (Beverly Hillbillies) was originally cast as the Tinman but suffered a severe allergy to the makeup and had to leave the film.  Where was Maybelline when you needed it??

This film was directed by Victor Fleming, who also directed Gone With the Wind.  They released THE SAME YEAR.  WTF??  Fleming was brought on both films as someone who would "save them".  He was a highly respected director, yet seemed to consistently be overlooked by many critics.  This may have been because of the rumors that he was "pro-Nazi" and he was also a founding member of the Motion Picture Alliance for the Preservation of American Ideals (think black listing in Hollywood, McCarthyism, etc). Not great for the image.

Either way, he was brought on to fix the issues with both these films and ended up with two of the most iconic, quoted films of all time. 

The other thing I want to talk about for a moment is the editor of The Wizard of Oz.  HER name is Blanche Sewell.  Back in the day, many of the "film cutters" were women.  Often they only had high school educations (like Blanche...she got her job 3 years out of high school).  They were also (and not surprisingly) unsung.  Often they were truly just technicians, for lack of a better word.  The directors were really making all the choices.  But many of them became true artists, understanding the rhythms needed for film editing as well as knowing what would resonate with an audience.  I was pleased to discover that Blanche was the first editor at MGM to edit a "talkie".  So, so cool.  

Finally, I'd like to do a little shout out to Toto and the Munchkins.  I LOVED Toto when I was little.  Apparently so did Judy Garland, who wanted to buy the dog after the movie (Toto was actually a female named Terry).  Terry's owners said no.  Considering how Judy turned out, maybe it's for the best.  In my opinion, Toto was also the hardest working character in the film.  I think little Terry should have had an Oscar nomination.  Toto gets ALL the jobs done. 

The Munchkins are credited as a group...at the beginning as "the Munchkins" and at the end as "The Singer Midgets" (their manager was named Singer...trust me, at first I was like "they are called WHAT??").  Seriously?  Many of them were also foreign so much of the voice work was dubbed over.  I was wondering about that when I watched it.  Because honestly the Lollipop Guild sounds like they wear their pants a little too tight.  And is it bad that I continually thought "CALL ME ELF ONE MORE TIME!" during that whole scene?  Cuz I did.

(My drink pairing for this film is a Hurricane (call it a Tornado!))

The Wiz Live - aired December 2015

The first thing to know about me is I've never been a fan of The Wiz.  I don't feel any connection to the music (with the exception of Ease on Down the Road, cuz that's a fun song) and Diana Ross was frankly too old to play Dorothy back in the day.   

Additionally I've watched all of NBC's experiments - I mean live broadcasts of musicals - and I've been severely underwhelmed.  The first one was  Sound of Music with Carrie Underwood and Vampire Bill from True Blood.  Everyone looked a bit horrified to even be in it and Carrie slid or tripped or something when she was high on a hill, like a lonely goat.  Yodel-ay-hee-hoo. The second year they put on Peter Pan with Allison Williams as Peter and Christopher Walken as Captain Hook.  Walken could not have looked weirder in his makeup and costume and there was all sorts of strange, homoerotic dancing.  Plus, Allison Williams just wasn't that good.  Both of these had a high mockability quotient.  So I had really high hopes for The Wiz.

In the end, it was pretty meh. In general, the performances were solid enough to not be able to fully mock them.  Shoot.   The girl who plays Dorothy seemed to have a good voice, but was drowned out in the audio mix.  The guy who played the Scarecrow was a good dancer and had a sweet, melancholy expression on his face, but he was no Ray Bolger (that man really danced like he was made of straw) or Michael Jackson, for that matter.  I thought MJ was a bit...fey, I guess...to be Scarecrow but there is no denying the dude could dance.  Ne-Yo as the Tinman was probably my favorite, he was the most heartfelt, but again, doesn't hold a candle to Jack Haley.  And David Allen Grier as the Lion was again just meh.  And that's SUCH a great role!  I don't even think he did one "grrrrff!"  Even Queen Latifah, who I think is awesome, didn't really do it for me.

I think what I always miss in any production of The Wiz is the heart that is in The Wizard of Oz.  By the end you really believe that Dorothy is going to miss the Scarecrow most of all.  You know that she just loves the stuffing right out of him.  I don't ever get that feeling from this show - film or play version.

I'm sure it's super hard to do a "live" show with no audience, but NBC really needs to figure out how to make these more appealing.  Or just keep them ridiculous and shitty because that's WAY more entertaining!

(My drink pairing for this show is a Cape Cod (vodka and cranberry).  Let's call it a Ruby Slipper!)

Oz The Great and Powerful - released in 2013

When I rented this film, the tagline on Amazon was "The never-before-told fantastical adventure with an all star cast!"  Well, they were right about how it's never been told before.

This film is directed by Sam Raimi, which gave me some hope at the outset.  Bruce Campbell is even in it, but his facial prosthetics are so garish that I could barely tell it was him.  Plus, he was a bit part - one of the Wicked Witch's Winkies.  But let's get the to the heart of the matter.  This movie pretty much sucked.  Apparently it was a box office success, but I have a hard time believing that.  First, it sucked.  Second, I barely remember it being in theaters.  And third?  James Franco plays Oz.  And he's really terrible.  Now, I'm not a fan of him, per se, but I'm also not a Franco hater.  I've never seen 127 Hours (can't stomach the thought of the arm!) so I'm not well informed about his acting chops.  But in this, he's wooden and smarmy and I just can't fathom AT ALL why the women fall all over him.  Ick.

The quick story is that Franco plays a magician in a traveling circus about 20 years before the Dorothy events happen.  He beds like EVERY woman in the Dust Bowl and gives them all this p.o.s. music box as a parting gift.  They also all see each other's music box (that sounds dirtier than it is), so he's not so good at the misdirect.  Anyway, he ends up in Oz by the usual means, and it's gorgeous and hyper-colorful.  He meets 3 witches, two are wicked (played by Rachel Weisz and Mila Kunis) and one is good (Michelle Williams).  There is a prophecy in Oz about a Wizard coming to rid the place of evil.  Franco gets into some stupid shit with the women and has to magic himself out of trouble.

Sam Raimi does some major nods to the original, which I appreciated.  The first 20 minutes are in black and white and Franco is swept away from Kansas by a tornado. One of the women he's had a fling with turns out to be (or we're led to believe) Dorothy's future mom.  Most of the people he meets in Oz have counterparts in Kansas.  He also creates a walking army of scarecrows at one point and there are Tinkers he befriends who I assume later create the Tinman.  Mila Kunis plays the witch who eventually turns into the green one we all know.  She starts out as a sweet, innocent witch, has a fling with Franco and thinks its love.  This leads to her becoming a bitter, green hag.  Raimi, I think you could have been a bit less obvious with that storyline.  

Franco makes a couple of friends along the way.  One is a nice flying monkey dressed like a bellhop.  He's voiced by Zach Braff and he's pretty cute.  Another is a small china doll who's family was destroyed by the original Wicked Witch (Rachel Weisz).  I know this is going to shock ALL of you, but I think she's my favorite character in the whole film.  She's charming and she's beautifully animated.  I know.  It's like Backward Day.

But maybe my favorite thing in the film (and I even saw that the Hollywood Reporter review mentioned it) is that even though Weisz and Kunis play sisters, they have different accents.  Weisz is British and Kunis couldn't be more American.  This really fucks with my suspension of disbelief.  Well, really it all does.

(My drink pairing for this film is a Dark and Stormy. Let's call this one Transportation.  And have a few, because you really don't want to watch this sober.)

My takeaways:

#1 - Why have I never named a cat Toto??

#2 - James Franco was the third choice to play Oz (Robert Downey Jr and Johnny Depp both turned it down).  This does not surprise me.

#3 - I think what I learned most of all is to find a classic movie you really don't have to look further than your own backyard.

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

The Force will be with you, always

A long time ago (38 years) in a galaxy far, far away (San Jose) I was introduced to the movie that changed my life:  Star Wars.

Never before had I seen a movie that I wanted to live in.  I wanted to hang out with these people.  Have adventures with them. Our heroes were funny, charming, caring, noble.  I didn't want to BE Princess Leia, I wanted to go on adventures with her.  With all of them.

Naturally, I was a self absorbed kid when the film came out in May 1977, so I'm sure I thought I was the only person (besides Norm, who was all in with me) who felt this way.   I didn't realize how far reaching the impact and influence of this film would be.  That it would seep into other people's psyches as well and become a "cultural unifier".  This film's influence is so far-reaching it's mind boggling.  It changed pop culture (phrases like "evil empire"  and "May the Force be with you" incorporating themselves into our daily speech), it pulled 20th Century Fox out of near bankruptcy to become one of the largest media conglomerates and it spawned a shit ton of parodies/homages and spin offs.  It's a movie that stitches people together.  

Naturally there is a lot of differing opinions on how this film was revolutionary.  Many say that it's the first major studio blockbuster (apparently Gone With the Wind was, still holding the record for highest grossing film), the first serialized movie (nope, Bond, James Bond) or the first "event" movie (Jaws or Godfather could hold that distinction).  What no one can argue with, however, is it was the first film to highlight special effects, causing monumental growth in the industry.  George Lucas needed to create ILM because Fox's special effects department had been scrapped.  They pushed the envelope for special effects and I think we can all agree: YAY!!  And the other thing no one can dispute?  George was a merchandising genius.  Lucas gave up $500,000 of his directing fee to keep the merch rights and WHOA did that make George a rich man.

What this film also did, though, was brought back action, adventure and romanticism to the big screen.  The 70's were big on taut dramas and realism.  The stuff a 13 year old girl wasn't much interested in when given the option.  So this became the movie that made me want to work in the movie industry.  It was the closest I could get to hanging out with these guys.

I'm sure none of you are surprised that I'm ridiculously excited to see The Force Awakens.  And it's not because it's a new installment of this universe (I've been let down before).  It's because I get to see my old friends again.  I've missed them, I missed watching them band together to fight the Evil Empire.  I watch the trailers and commercials and when I glimpse Han or Leia or Luke I get butterflies in my stomach and start grinning like an idiot. So I thought, for this post, I'd look into what my pals have been doing for the last 38 years.  Should be interesting, eh?

R2D2 

Kenny Baker (R2) is 81 years old!  Looks like he'd been on a BBC TV show for years (1992 - 2007).  It also looks like he may have come out of retirement to be in The Force Awakens. My Star Wars aficionado friend Dave tells me that Kenny has been in ailing heath for many years.  It does my heart good to know that he's reprising his role.  R2 can't be played by anyone else!!

C3PO

Anthony Daniels (3PO) is 69 years old.  He got married to a woman last year who's 84.  Wow.  You go, Cougar!  Get your droid!!  I can tell you from experience that he does the Presentation Circuit because he spoke at Dreamworks when I was there.  He's riding on 3PO's metal coattails (and not unlike 3PO, he seems to think extremely highly of himself), but who can blame him?  Unsurprisingly, he also does the voice work for all the Star Wars offshoots (TV shows, video games).

Chewbacca

Chewie has always been my favorite character (as much as I love all the others he's the only one I imitate!).  He's the most adorable big walking carpet ever (and really Leia, it's not his fault he's in your way, he's just really big and the hallway is tiny! Chill!).  Peter Mayhew is 71 years old.   He's also ridden on Chewie's  furry coattails but really what other jobs do you get when you're 7'2"?  The best thing I discovered is that he played Chewie on an episode of Glee.  I need to find that, STAT.

Luke Skywalker

When Star Wars first came out, I was 100% a Luke fan.  I was young and he was adorable.  I had the book before the movie came out so I obsessed on the insert with the pictures and Luke just looked so...blond.  And cute.  My mom was like "Nope.  I like the bad boys.  Who's the other guy?" (she always liked Rhett more than Ashley)  Anyway, the film came out and I couldn't argue with her. I mean, Luke is just so. fucking. whiny.  And that hasn't become more charming with time.  Mark Hamill has done almost exclusively voice work (film and video games) for many years.  He was in Kingsmen a couple years ago, which I enjoyed quite a bit.  He has a rather small part, as I recall, so this wasn't like it was the film that ushered him back into the limelight.  It really seems like he works non stop, though, so that's awesome!  And I'm sure I knew this when I was 13 and obsessed, but he was born in Oakland!  Hella cool!

Princess Leia Organa

I really, really loved Carrie Fisher in Star Wars.  She just seemed like the most amazing woman.  I knew she was fairly young, her mother was in one of my all time favorite films (Singin' in the Rain....in the early days of Star Wars I remember that the talk shows, etc, kept talking about how Carrie's breakout role had her playing off of two men, just like Debbie's.  I felt pretty mature because I knew what they were talking about), and she was so clever and witty in interviews.  I wore gold hoop earrings for like a year because I saw Carrie Fisher wear them.

Star Wars isn't the only iconic film Carrie has been in (When Harry Met Sally..."I want you to know, I'll never want that wagon wheel coffee table."  Classic!).  She works a ton.  She's been in movies and TV shows, has done some voice work, is a great writer and created an amazing one-woman show called Wishful Drinking which I was lucky enough to see in Berkeley when it came around.  And her dog's name is Gary.  Gary Fisher.  So good.

I've always (and still do) wanted to be friends with Carrie Fisher.  When I was young I wanted to be just like her.  In retrospect, I'm sure my family is pretty glad i'm NOT just like her.  I don't think I have enough in savings to go to a really good rehab.

Han Solo

Oh Harrison Ford.  We all love you.  Even though you are like 73 and broke your ankle on the Millennium Falcon.  I mean, it could happen to anyone, right?

I was a bit bummed that he left his cool wife (screenwriter Melissa Mathison) of over 20 years to be with Calista "Toothpick" Flockhart.  But he's clearly a serial monogamist because he's been with her for a long time now too.

This guy soared right to the top.  It's not like he wasn't charming and handsome and funny enough in Star Wars, then he had to go play Indiana Jones?!  How can a girl choose???  Han or Indy?  Gah.  Then he creates Blade Runner's Rick Deckard, The Fugitive's Dr Richard Kimble and Tom Clancy's character Jack Ryan to name only a few.  Dude!  Nicely done.

I wrote about Working Girl (which he was in) a few months ago.  I said that Harrison Ford kind of has this specific "style" of acting where he often (almost always) looks" perplexed".  But whatever, right?  Because it works for him!  A lot.  And he also sprinkles in "adorable smirky smile" which puts him right over the top.  Harrison Ford made me "get" what my mom meant about liking the bad boys.  They tend to be way more interesting, nuanced and, let's face it, sexy.  I may have taken her words TOO much to heart judging by my track record...but I'm getting off topic.  Back to Harrison!  According to IMDb he's done over 40 films SINCE Star Wars.  That doesn't count what he did before.  

Harrison Ford is a total movie star. Also, he's just the right height to be a stormtrooper.

(my drink pairing suggestion for this post would probably be a can or two of Tab. Or blue milk if you're a purist.)

My takeaways:

#1 - Have I mentioned that I'm SUPER excited for The Force Awakens?  I am!

#2 - I have a lot of faith in JJ Abrams.  I really enjoyed his reboot of Star Trek.  JJ, I'm counting on you.  Just be cool with the lens flares, okay? A little goes a long way.

#3 - I 've also been reading about another Indiana Jones film (5th) and a Blade Runner sequel.  Honestly, my jury is out on both of these, so I'm just gonna pretend I didn't hear about either yet.  One thing at a time.

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

Something old and something new

Hey gang!

So I was traveling a bit this Thanksgiving, so I'm going to offer up one of my early emails (from March, pre-blog) for this entry.  You can see how my format has evolved a bit, but the snark never changes.

I'm also giving you something new:  a holiday carol I wrote called The Twelve Days of Pet Sitting (sung to the obvious tune).  This is dedicated to all those that I have at least given a bowl of food to, if not more (Dobby, Tikka, Mama Cat, the 2 Mama's Girls (fat and thin), Fluffy Boy, the boy cat named Sue, Daisy, Miss Kitty, and of course, my Cosmo).

Sleeping Maleficent:

To be honest, I've really been resisting watching Maleficent.  I'm not sure why...probably the Angelina Jolie factor.  I'm so tired of her "persona" and the whole "I'm a director of lofty topics" that I forget that she's actually a really good actress and chooses some fun films to be in.  So I bit the bullet and started watching it.

I was pleasantly surprised by this film.  First thing:  her costuming is gorgeous.  It's perfect, actually.  She has some fake cheekbones, which are rather alarming  but shape her face exactly like the animated cartoon.  And her actual jawbone is freakish, quite honestly.  It's so sharp and pronounced that I feel like her skin is just painted on her bone.  Creepy.  Her lipstick in this film is a deep, sultry red that looks fantastic.

(Here are the spoilers)  Essentially the plot is this:  Maleficent is a fairy.  Wings, pointy ears, the whole nine yards.  When she's young she falls for a boy named Stefan (I missed the first 5 minutes so I'm not sure why he's in the enchanted forest) and they share a kiss...true love's kiss, or so she thinks.  Actually, Stefan is a power hungry prick, so he leaves Maleficent and the forest to go find his power within the human world.  She takes on the role of Protecter of the Forest.  The humans come in and try to fuck with the forest.  She wins but the king is furious and wants revenge.  He challenges all his squires (?) to kill her.   Whoever kills her will succeed him.   STEFAN volunteers (he really, really wants to be king) and goes to Maleficent.  He sort of seduces her (no sex but she loves him again), feeds her a sleeping potion and CUTS OFF HER F'ING WINGS!!  When she wakes the next morning, RazorJaw Jolie just howls.  It's really touching.  Chilling, actually.  Anyway, she rebuilds her life and is understandably the most bitter fairy in the entire world.  Stefan becomes king, has a baby....etc.  Sleeping Beauty.  One really cool thing is that the scene where she puts the curse on the baby Aurora is almost word for word from the original DIsney film.

There are the three good fairies in this film as well.  Honestly, they are total dipshits.  They reminded me of a less funny version of the witches in Hocus Pocus.  The "smartest" fairy is played by the actress who played Dolores Umbridge in the Harry Potter films.  She's kind of always a treat but was a bit wasted in this film.

The twist on this film is that Maleficent keeps watch on Aurora as she grows and falls in love with her (even though she calls her Beastie, which is funny).  She tries to revoke the curse at one point, but can't.  Karma's a bitch, honey.  You do something shitty, this is what happens.  There is a nice twist (not at all unexpected, though) with the true love's kiss that wakes Aurora and the ending is satisfying.

The effects in this film are pretty bad, which surprised me.  There are a couple big fight scenes that look like a game company animated them and the good fairies (when tiny) are most definitely mo-cap, which is just shitty-looking in my opinion (think Polar Express...gah!)

For some reason, in both films, I couldn't get beyond the Spinning Wheel portion of the story.  Essentially, King Stefan commands that all the spinning wheels are destroyed in the kingdom, yet all they do is stick them in an unused portion of the castle.  Seriously??  You can't ACTUALLY get rid of them??  (Let's not even go there with how they made their clothes.)  Also, they hide Aurora for 16 years to be returned on the day AFTER her 16th birthday.  All the good fairies are one step from retarded, apparently, so that gets fucked up, but also I couldn't work out why they thought Maleficent would take action during those 16 years.  She made her stand so why would they all worry that she'd change the stakes?

(My pairing suggestion for this movie is a Disney themed cocktail called Maleficent! (Black Vodka, Grape Schnapps (there's Grape??), Apple Pucker - who knew??))

My second film HAD to be Disney's Sleeping Beauty.  I haven't seen it in years, it honestly wasn't one of my favorites.  It was released in 1959.  I was always more of a Warner Brothers kind of kid, so even though I saw the Princess films, I didn't obsess over them.  Disney captured my heart with their talking animal films, actually.  I had a charm bracelet (from a cereal box, as I recall...they put METAL - it was probably brass- in with the cereal!  It's amazing kids from the 60's are alive at all) of the Jungle Book.  It's the Bare Necessities, baby!

Anyway, the first thing that blew my mind about Sleeping Beauty is that it was created by NINETEEN animators!  WHAT. THE. FUCK.  Madagascar 3 had 70 animators.  Jesus.

It's really a beautiful film.  Again, it was very cool (and respectful) that Maleficent kept a fair amount of the dialog and the story of Aurora is also very similar with the exception of the ending.  There is also the running song in the film "Once Upon a Dream" , which is based on Tchaikovsky's music from the ballet and also has been redone for the end song in Maleficent by Lana Del Rey (it's a great version).

There was a song fail in this film.  One of the first songs had this truly amazingly complex dialog:  "Hail to the King.  Hail to the Queen.  Hail to the Princess Aurora."  That's it.  Over and over and over.....zzzzz.

The good fairies aren't nearly as stupid in this version although it is their rivalry that alerts Maleficent to where they have hidden Aurora (or Briar Rose, which is what they call her to be sneaky...again, not sure why they were so worried since they fucked everything up on her 16th birthday which was the EXACT day they should have kept their shit together).  It's also MUCH more "I need a man to complete me" and in a weird Snow White moment, she sings a song with all the forest animals.  I'm sure this is a metaphor for something that I think I'd prefer not to know.

Maleficent is just pure evil in this film.  I kind of like having a back story for her, it makes her meanness more palatable.

Also two more things about Spinning Wheels (see how much this affected me?).   One is that Maleficent used some of the same shot compositions as the animated version, which I thought was cool.

The second thing is whenever I think of a spinning wheel, I think of Rumplestilskin.  It's a missed opportunity to not use him whenever there is a spinning wheel.  And naturally, he should be played by Peter Dinklage!  :)

(My pairing for this film is the Disney themed cocktail Sleeping Beauty (Kinky Liqueur, Hypnotiq, Sprite))

My takeaways:

#1 - Be careful what you wish for (or curse), cuz sometimes it's irreversible.

#2 - I guess I never really was a Princess girl (besides Princess Leia).  If Maleficent came out when I was young, I'd totally want to be her.

#3 - I really, really do love animation.

And my holiday gift to you:

The 12 Days of Pet Sitting

On the first day of pet sitting, knew my chores and got the key:

And Dobby hissed at me.

On the second day of pet sitting, knew my chores and got the key:

Got two Tikka sniffs,

And Dobby hissed at me.

On the third day of pet sitting, knew my chores and got the key:

Found three lost toys,

Got two Tikka sniffs,

And Dobby hissed at me.

On the fourth day of pet sitting, knew my chores and got the key:

Scooped four litter boxes,

Found three lost toys,

Got two Tikka sniffs,

And Dobby hissed at me.

On the fifth day of pet sitting, knew my chores and got the key:

CLIMBED FIVE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS!

Scooped four litter boxes,

Found three lost toys,

Got two Tikka sniffs,

And Dobby hissed at me.

On the sixth day of pet sitting, knew my chores and got the key:

Cleaned six pools of puke,

CLIMBED FIVE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS!

Scooped four litter boxes,

Found three lost toys,

Got two Tikka sniffs,

And Dobby hissed at me.

On the seventh day of pet sitting, knew my chores and got the key:

Played seven rounds of Bird,

Cleaned six pools of puke,

CLIMBED FIVE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS!

Scooped four litter boxes,

Found three lost toys,

Got two Tikka sniffs,

And Dobby hissed at me.

On the eighth day of pet sitting, knew my chores and got the key:

Heard eight Cosmo meows,

Played seven rounds of Bird,

Cleaned six pools of puke,

CLIMBED FIVE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS!

Scooped four litter boxes,

Found three lost toys,

Got two Tikka sniffs,

And Dobby hissed at me.

On the ninth day of pet sitting, knew my chores and got the key:

Swept nine huge dust bunnies,

Heard eight Cosmo meows,

Played seven rounds of Bird,

Cleaned six pools of puke,

CLIMBED FIVE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS!

Scooped four litter boxes,

Found three lost toys,

Got two Tikka sniffs,

And Dobby hissed at me.

On the tenth day of pet sitting, knew my chores and got the key:

Felt ten claws need trimming,

Swept nine huge dust bunnies,

Heard eight Cosmo meows,

Played seven rounds of Bird,

Cleaned six pools of puke,

CLIMBED FIVE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS!

Scooped four litter boxes,

Found three lost toys,

Got two Tikka sniffs,

And Dobby hissed at me.

On the eleventh day of pet sitting, knew my chores and got the key:

Delivered eleven pills a-poppin’,

Felt ten claws need trimming,

Swept nine huge dust bunnies,

Heard eight Cosmo meows,

Played seven rounds of Bird,

Cleaned six pools of puke,

CLIMBED FIVE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS!

Scooped four litter boxes,

Found three lost toys,

Got two Tikka sniffs,

And Dobby hissed at me.

On the twelfth day of pet sitting, knew my chores and got the key:

Watched twelve Hallmark movies,

Delivered eleven pills a-poppin’,

Felt ten claws need trimming,

Swept nine huge dust bunnies,

Heard eight Cosmo meows,

Played seven rounds of Bird,

Cleaned six pools of puke,

CLIMBED FIVE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS!

Scooped four litter boxes,

Found three lost toys,

Got two Tikka sniffs,

And Dobby hissed at me.

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

A Study in Ash

I'm gonna put something out there that might be a bit controversial...I hope it doesn't make any of you think less of me.

I love love love the Cinderella fable.  I know, I know.  

It's weird because I don't think of myself as a Princess-loving girl (besides Leia, natch).  But there it is.   I realized this when I was on my two ridiculously long flights last month.  The new Cinderella was featured and I was super excited.  When I examined why, it occurred to me that there are no two ways about it:  I'm a fan.  And I have been for a long time.  Some of you may know this, but the first kitten I ever had was a Siamese that our elderly next door neighbors gave me (now that I think of it, they must have instilled in me my love of cats; they had two gorgeous Siamese that I adored - and as I recall they had horribly racist names like maybe Ping and Pong? This was the 60's, people, don't judge.  The neighbors were extremely nice people, actually.).  I was about 5 or 6 at the time (this was a big year for me, if you read my Halloween post).  My parents let me name the kitten, which we thought was a girl.  I named her Cinderella.  Upon further inspection, though, we discovered that Cinderella wasn't a girl, so we ended up calling HIM Cindus. I think this name was borne out of me wanting to call the cat Cinders (I think that's the name the horrible stepsisters call Cinderella in the storybook I had) and either I garbled it (I was calling deodorant "dodorant" at the time....God knows why I knew that word but there you have it)  or that's how my Bostonian mother pronounced it.  Cindus didn't have a long life, but he followed me everywhere I went and I loved him dearly.

Since then, not only have I seen the traditional Cinderella films, but quite a few adaptations as well (even the Hilary Duff one...it's terrible but I still liked it (Jennifer Coolidge plays the evil step mother so that's a big plus)).  I guess I'm a sucker for a girl who works her ass off all the time and ends up with a sugar daddy.  Or maybe I like that the shoe only comes in her size.   

I did a bit of research about the Cinderella fable.  The first instance of this story was from 7 BC and featured a Greek girl (yup!).  Not all the elements are there, but there's a lost red slipper.  The version that introduced many of the elements commonly found now (pumpkin, fairy godmother and glass slipper) is a French story from 1697.  There are well over 200 documented theatrical versions of Cinderella (plays and films) starting from the mid 1800s.  That's a lot of fairy godmothers.

On my flight, they also were playing the original Cinderella (as well as an another offshoot film called After the Ball, which was adorably irreverent, combining Cinderella and Victor/Victoria) so here I give you my thoughts on Cinderella, old and new.

Cinderella - released in 1950

This version of Cinderella was taken from the French story I mentioned above.  Apparently because of WW II, etc, Disney hadn't had a big hit in many years (I think since Snow White was released in the late 30s) and they were banking a lot on this movie.  They employed 3 directors (similar to many of the animated films I worked on, actually) and used a new song writing collective, Tin Pan Alley (they ended up partnering with this company a lot, according to Wikipedia).  What they did totally paid off.  Cinderella became one of their most successful films; the profits leading to Disney being able to fund other productions and build their distribution company, as well as other endeavors.

One of the reviews says something about the "adorable mice".  Like a "how can you go wrong" type of thing.  Well, I'm gonna say that the mouse Gus Gus?  He's a fucking idiot.  I am SHOCKED that he didn't get eaten by the cat, Lucifer, within the first few minutes.  He's a portly mouse and continually looks like he's going to have a little animated heart attack when he's running up stairs or jumping around.  Gus Gus bugged.  Every stinkin' job they gave him, he messed up.  Where is Darwinism when you need it?

And speaking of the other mice, I'd like to ask, how does one employ a bunch of rodents (or any animal, really) to work for you?  I'm a nice person who's good to animals.  Why don't I have a staff of furry and winged creatures that are cleaning my house and sewing my clothes??  

I kept having to remind myself that this version was made in 1950...particularly when the amazingly handy female mice sang "Leave the sewing to the women, you go get the trimmin'" to Gus Gus and Jaq.  No surprise, Gus Gus fucked that up too.  Additionally, Prince Charming's dad (the King) was less interested in getting his son a good match and more interested in getting a baby-maker in the castle.  Any vessel would do.

Another interesting fact I learned is that for the first time on this film, the animation department hired "live action models" to film reference to keep the animation costs down.  Interesting!  They actually hired actresses to do the scenes, with rudimentary sets and props.   I believe they continued to employ this method through at least 101 Dalmatians.  We used this method too,but it was our animators shooting themselves as reference in an renovated storeroom.  Watching their reference was truly some of my favorite times at work.

Another quick thing about the animators.  I only saw one woman's name as an artist on this film, Mary Blair.  Her credit is Color and Styling, which I understand is being a concept artist.  Perhaps THE concept artist.  She was masterful, I'm learning.  Apparently she had a very troubled personal life, but in the midst of her own personal demons, she also designed all the costumes, sets and locations for the It's a Small World attraction.  Go Mary!!

One thing that surprised and delighted me was when I watched the credits and realized that Prince Charming was completely uncredited  In fact, he doesn't even have an actual name in the film.  Just "the prince".  Apparently his underdeveloped character in the film was an early issue for critics.  Not so much for me.

(My drink pairing for this is a Cinderella, a fruity non-alcoholic drink.  C'mon, you're watching animation!)

Cinderella - released in 2015

Scholars say that Cinderella is the story of unjust oppression.  It is that, but what stands out to me in all versions is that it's also, maybe more so, a story about jealousy and how incredibly mean and spiteful women can be to each other.

I think in the end, that should be what parents object to, not that she becomes a princess. 

I actually really like this version.  It's a Disney film, so they use the French story like the 1950 version.  Kenneth Branagh directs.  I'm not always a huge fan of him as an actor (I feel like you can always see his ego peeking out...which is why he was actually perfect for Gilderoy Lockhart in the Potter film), but I do like him as a director (I still think he made a mistake leaving Emma, but whatever...I could do a whole blog just on my thoughts about Hollywood couples...don't even get me started on the Blake Shelton/Gwen Stefani rumor). 

Branagh's version uses an element that many don't, which is that we see her as a child with her parents.  They are a very happy family and Cinderella's mother is nice and loving and beautiful.  She teaches our young heroine that the most important thing in life is to have courage and be kind.  This is where you find the magic. It's a theme through the movie.  Then Cinderella gets saddled with the stepfamily/horror show because her dad wants one last chance at being happy many years after the mom dies.  I don't fault him for this.  I do fault him on his terrible taste in second wives.  As soon as the dad goes away on a business trip, Cinderella is thrown out of her nice room to live in the attic.  With the mice.  Gus Gus is there, but is mercifully silent and doesn't do much more than eat.  

This film has a lot of heart, and the girl who plays Cinderella, Lily James, is perfect. (My former Blogguest, Linda Moore, might be a bit interested to know she's dating Matt Smith.  Hmph.)

The important part of the new versions of Cinderella (and Disney has jumped on the bandwagon with this film) is that we see the Prince and Cinderella meet and have a connection long before the ball. They talk, he falls in love with HER.  Her beauty, sure, but also her opinions, her kindness.  Her.  This is a big element of my favorite adaptation, Ever After.  The heroine is spunkier in Ever After.  She's also educated (her favorite place to be is a library).  I love this version.

Cate Blanchett plays the evil stepmother.  She is REALLY evil.  She does this one strident, braying laugh after she has humiliated Cinderella in front of her daughters and it's so mean and real.  It made me almost not like her for a second.  But she's Cate Blanchett which means she's pretty much All The Time Awesome.

Helena Bonham Carter is the Fairy Godmother.  This is a perfect role for her.  She looks great and she employs her usual "crazy, hot mess" acting style that served her well as Bellatrix Lestrange too.  At least in this, she uses her magic for good.

One thing about this film, whether you're a Cinderella fan or not, the costumes are A-FUCKING-MAZING.  Cate Blanchett gets some incredible outfits and Cinderella's ball gown is layer upon layer of fabric (apparently in blues and lavenders) that is just exquisite.  In fact, when she and the Prince dance, Branagh has added "swish" sound effects.  Like it's a character of it's own, singing with the music.  And the glass slippers were made by Swarovski!  Even if you never want to see this film, do yourself a favor and check out this article about the costume designer Sandy Powell.  Some great photos:   http://www.vogue.com/4463911/cinderella-movie-2015-sandy-powell-costume-designer/

One thing has stumped me, however...Cinderella and her mom sing a song called Lavender Blue.  I recognized it immediately and remember hearing it when I was young.  I thought someone like Hayley Mills sang it but I can't find it anywhere on the interwebz.  Now it's bugging me.  Anyone?

(My drink pairing for this film is multiple glasses of pink champagne.  Then sing Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo at the top of your lungs.)

My takeaways:

#1 - I apologize for the explosion of parentheses above. (not sure what got into me)

#2 - I thought this was interesting:  in the animated version, Cinderella's original ball gown - the dress the stepsisters rip to shreds - is thought to be based on a Salvador Dali look and her eventual ball gown is based on a Christian Dior design.  Nice.

#3 - Ever After, with Drew Barrymore, is one of my favorite movies.   Mireille Soria is the producer.  She also produced all 3 Madagascar films.  When I finally put that together (I had seen Ever After long before I became a Dreamworker) I shyly (for me) told her that I really loved the film.  She was like "Oh. Thanks."  Not the reaction I was expecting.

#34- Much like I learned valuable life lessons from Scarlett O'Hara (Tomorrow is another day!), perhaps I got my love of fabulous shoes from the Cinderella fable.  And I do LOVE fabulous shoes.

xoxo...hashtagSueslife