Happy Halloween!!

There are a few moments in everyone's lives that define them; even set them down the path they are supposed to follow.  

Picture, if you will, a six year old girl who wants nothing more than to be hanging out with her older brothers (oh, and maybe she also desperately wants a kitten).  Against all odds she convinces them to take her along with their group of friends to the movies (I honestly don't know how this part happened.  Did the boys cave to her pleading? Did her mom say "go do something with your sister"?  Can anyone lend insight to this?).  

What they chose, in their infinite wisdom, was a triple feature of horror films.  They told their mother that they were taking her to a Shirkey Temple triple feature.  I'm stumped as to how the mother bought this.  Did she REALLY think her boys would sit through 6 hours of that precocious little moppet?  With their teenage friends??

Seriously, sometimes I think I grew up in the Twilight Zone. Or a sitcom.

Okay,  enough Rod Serling.  

The truth is  I ended up sitting on my brother John's lap the whole time. I was also convinced that Dracula lived in our backyard under the fake fountain.  Our mom was PISSED.

So for this post, I'm going to re-watch the films I saw on that fateful day!  I thought about trying to make my experience as authentic as possible, but at this stage of our lives, I'm pretty sure I'd be more apt to snap my brother's femur than look adorable sitting in his lap.  

So let's just start.

Dracula Has Risen From the Grave - released in 1968

I have a specific memory from each film I saw that day  These images have stayed with me for many, many years.  My Dracula memory was a dead woman's torso falling out of a church bell upside down; two drips of blood slowly meandering down her neck toward her chin.  Imagine my surprise that this shot is actually in this film!  Right at the beginning, too!  

As an adult, I can tell you - this is a pretty awful movie.  I mean, it's a Hammer Film, so you already know that the blood is going to look like bright red food coloring (check!) and there will be a lot of it (check!).  I was reading up a bit about the production company.  Hammer was kind of ahead of their time in the Gothic Horror movie realm, although it appears that even the internal folks were like "yeesh, these movies have A LOT of violence in them!"  What I certainly didn't realize as a 6 year old movie novice (horror or otherwise), is that the acting is TERRIBLE.  I'm talking really, really bad.  There is a "mute boy" who couldn't look more like he doesn't know how to act without speaking, and the (sort of) hero is a douchey English chap with a decidedly Roger Daltrey look to him.  SO 60's.  Everyone's makeup is thick with a weird gray shadowing, too, which is disconcerting.

Christopher Lee, of course, plays Drac.  He only has about 5 lines in the whole film and there are a LOT of shots of his bloodshot red eyes.  I have this issue, too, Drac.  It's called Dry Eye.  My fantastic optometrist, Dr. Carrie Lee, would suggest you use Refresh drops daily.  Seriously, you clearly have a pretty advanced case, dude.  Do yourself a favor and don't wear your contacts for so many hours in a row. 

I'd try to tell you about the story, but there really wasn't one. There's a Monsignor who's trying to save a village from Dracula but accidentally unearths him.  There's a super wimpy priest who ends up being Dracula's new Renfield and naturally the busty barmaid is the first to get bit.  Christopher Lee gets to overact heartily in his death scene, so I guess all the elements are there.  I was really hoping he'd turn into a bat at some point, but no such luck.

(My drink pairing for this film is a Bloody Mary.  Duh!)

Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed - released in 1969

6 year old Sue remembers this scene:  It's the end.  There is a big fire in the house that Frankenstein lives in and the monster and the doctor are fighting.  Someone stabs the monster with a butter knife!  Ouch!  Who knew butter knives were so lethal??  Everyone dies.

Okay.  So now I've watched this as an adult for the first time since I was 6.   At some point in my teens or early 20's, I realized that what I thought was a butter knife was, in fact, a scalpel.  And the actual "scene" is more like 4 or 5 that blended together in my young mind.  So our sort-of heroine stabs (non-lethally) the monster about 15 minutes before the end of the film.  He is a sensitive monster, of course.  We all know that Frankenstein-the-doctor is the actual monster.  His creation didn't ASK to be created and in every incarnation of the story he feels pretty gypped by the whole deal.  It constantly impresses me that Mary Shelley wrote the original story in the 1816, all because she and her privileged friends were bored one summer.  Go Mary!  I think she won that contest!  Also, it's lauded as the first true science fiction novel.  Score one for the females!

Anyway, post stabbing, our monster in this film goes around and talks to his wife and tries to be philosophical and stuff.  6 year old Sue probably only heard "blah blah blah" when the monster was all weepy at his wife about what happened to him.  Even at a young age, I bet I was like "Quit your whining, let's move this shit along".  Eventually there is a big fire but all the butter knife (scalpel) hullaballoo was way over.  Not sure what I was thinking, but I'm gonna cut myself some slack because I was SIX and it was the last 10 minutes of the third movie in a row.

Upon adult viewing, I'll say that this movie was a lot more exciting than Hammer's above Dracula offering.  There is a lot of violence in this film, actually, and not the kind you would expect.  Peter Cushing plays Baron Frankenstein and he's super fucked up.  There is actually a rape scene where he attacks the sort-of heroine.  

The Cliff Notes version of this story is the Baron and his science buddy were doing all sorts of awful experiments on people and the buddy went crazy.  The Baron essentially kidnaps a young doctor (also with a decidedly 60's Mod look) and his fiance (our sort-of heroine), blackmailing them because they've been dealing illegal drugs (wha?) that the doctor stole from the asylum he works at (um, ok.).  The asylum houses the ex-buddy. The Baron transfers the ex-buddy's brain to another body when he dies and hilarity ensues.

This movie is very dark and kind of well written.  The acting, again, leaves A LOT to be desired, but Peter Cushing is pretty much awesome. I kept expecting him to give the orders to fire when ready on Alderaan, but maybe that's just me.  And, to his credit, it actually appears that he ate a sandwich or two during the 60's, although you could still slice or dice something with those crazy cheekbones.  In fact, this was made only a handful of years before Star Wars, so perhaps he did some Weight Watchers or juice cleanses before filming commenced in order to look exactly like a skeleton.

(My drink pairing for this film is a Starbuck's Franken Frappuccino...apparently only available from the 29th thru the 31st.  http://www.foodbeast.com/news/this-is-starbucks-new-halloween-drink-the-franken-frappuccino/)

SHE - released in 1965

Here's another one where my memory seemed so clear but wasn't quite on the mark.  The scene I remember is an immortal prince walking thru fire and aging more each time he passes through the flames.  Eventually he becomes a skeleton and disintegrates.  That's not exactly what happens in this movie (in fact, I'm pretty sure I saw that exact scene in a different movie...maybe a Harryhausen film?).  I also remember being excited about this movie because SHE are my initials, so in little kid self absorption I was positive I was gonna like this one! This was the second film of the three, a bit of a breather film.  For a long while it seemed pretty innocuous, there's a lot of exposition and a bit of a "love" story. In the end, I tbink this one scared me too, though.

Upon adult viewing, I'd be surprised if 6 year old Sue didn't sleep through most of this movie.  There is an interminable amount of  time where our hero and his friends cross a desert.  Just get there already!  It went on for so long that I got dehydrated just watching the film!  

It's another In the Hammer oeuvre (although that's a lofty word for what Hammer does); an adaptation of the H. Rider Haggard story.  Apparently old H wrote a ton of stuff and hung out with Rudyard Kipling, but is really only known for two stories: SHE and King Solomon's Mines.  Judging by this story, I'm guessing H has some issues around women.  SHE is really called She Who Must Be Obeyed and honestly she's pretty much a c*nt.  Ursula Andress plays SHE in all her gorgeousness and bitchiness.  Hammer favorites Petrr Cushing and Christopher Lee are in this as well.  Christopher Lee gets another fantasticly over-acted death scene and Peter Cushing gets some nice ironic overshadowing by saying the line  "Nothing is gained by fear and terror."  SO not the philosophy of Grand Moff Tarkin.

The basic story is that SHE is immortal and searching for her long dead love. She finds the guy's doppelgänger centuries later and hypnotizes him to come to her in the desert.  There is also the possibility of treasure, so his war buddies accompany him.  Through the desert.  For like 15 or 20 minutes of film.  Zzzz.  The hero is pretty much a douche (a Hammer hero theme) and not only falls for SHE but also messes around with a slave girl.  He discovers that SHE killed the original dude in a crime of passion (TOTAL C U Next Tuesday move).  The modern douche totally thinks with his dick, so apparently this doesn't concern him too much.  He gets caught smooching the slave and so SHE kills the slave and makes him immortal in this crazy fire that becomes magic only once in a great while (she's been alone a LONG time and clearly makes poor choices).  She also goes in the fire, but apparently no one told her that going in the fire a second time reverses the immortal effects.  Oops.  It turn out she is the one who stands in the fire and quickly ages until she's a pile of dust.  The modern douche realizes that thinking solely with the little head usually ends up badly and vows to watch the flame until he gets an opportunity to reverse his own immortality.  

In the end, it never would have worked anyway. SHE wanted everlasting love and he just wanted to get laid.

(My drink pairing for this film is a Flaming Zombie, because it's alcohol, it's on fire and it's Halloween!)

My takeaways:

#1- A Hammer Film triple feature and a Shirley Temple triple feature could not be more polar opposites.

#2- I forgot to mention, there is a belly dance scene in SHE!  Peter Cushing even gets up to dance with the girls!!  It's like the Skeleton Dance in Silly Symphonies!

#3- If anyone is ever on Wunderlich Dr in San Jose, will you check and see how Dracula is doing in my old backyard?  

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

Shit I watched on the plane

Alternate title:  I've HAD it with these motherfuckin' movies on this motherfuckin' plane!!  Really, I couldn't pass up the obvious joke, now could I?

So as many (or all) of you know, I was on two incredibly long flights and one short one over the last couple weeks (I think I totaled about 50 in-air hours).  It was like a movie-watching goldmine!  Emirates had a zillion films I could choose from.  You will see from my entry today that sometimes I did not choose...wisely.

So here is my film itinerary, just a couple lines per movie so you get the gist. Cuz sometimes that's all you need.

USA to AUS

Jurassic World - released in 2015

I'm not gonna deny it...I love me some Chris Pratt.  This movie was a perfect plane movie....funny, charming leading man, great special FX that were visually big  and an easy storyline to keep track of (Dinosaur runs around. Everyone acts scared).

Thumbs up!

Ant Man - released in 2015

I'd say meh to this.  I love Paul Rudd but even his charm couldn't really do it for me in this film.  Also, what is Michael Douglas now, 1000 years old?  Whoa. My favorite part was Ant Man's friend, Luis.  He's this street-wise gangster type dude who is really funny.  His vocal cadence and demeanor, apparently, were taken from a "friend of a friend" of the actor Michael Pena.  Worth the free viewing.  Slept through a bit of it.

Thumbs middle.

Asterix:  The Land of the Gods - released in 2014

To be honest, I don't even know if this is the one I saw...I can't remember.  I'm assuming it is because via Google I discovered that it's the most recent Asterix offering.  I slept through almost the whole thing.  I saw enough to know that I am not a fan of the animation style.

Thumbs zzzz.

Pitch Perfect 2 - released in 2015

I liked this one!  It was funny and kept my attention on the plane.  As usual, I especially love Elizabeth Banks and John Michael Higgins as the emcees (and our eternal Greek chorus).  They play off each other brilliantly, in fact I think they provided me with some actual LOL moments.  Which is always awesome when you're sitting alone on a plane.

Thumbs up!

Jupiter Ascending - released in 2015

While I did not for ONE SECOND buy the love story aspect between Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum (and she's with Ashton so I'm willing to buy a lot), I was entertained by this movie.  Eddie Redmayne played an evil guy and honestly his talents were wasted on this film.  His acting "style" seemed to basically consist of "sound like you have laryngitis".  I know he can do better than that.  This movie was also incredibly long.  I think there were at least two plot points they could have lost and I wouldn't have minded.

Thumbs middle.

MELBOURNE to PERTH

Tomorrowland - released in 2015

This was on a quick flight in the middle of my trip.

I wanted to like this...I really did. I mean, it's directed by Brad Bird for crying out loud!  The Incredibles!   But, meh.  Clooney seemed to phone it in a bit.  The kids were good but the one little girl was doll-like (for good reason, which I won't spoil if you haven't seen it) so you can imagine how I felt. And Hugh Laurie was just a bit weird.  Additionally, this also could have benefitted with a good trim.

Thumbs middle.

AUS to USA

Hot Pursuit - released in 2015

Holy shit.  I can't even with this one.  Reese Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara, what the FUCK were you thinking??  Abysmal.

Thumbs all the way down.

Ex Machina - released in 2015

I've been wanting to watch this for a while.  Watching it on a plane was definitely not the best venue but I still liked it a lot.  It's a moody, atmospheric film with only 3 main characters. Everyone gave stellar performances.  It's a quiet film that I think will stay with me for a while.  I have to say, I've become a fan of the main actor, Domhnall Gleeson.  Check out About Time if you haven't already seen it.  It's a lovely film, too. (fun fact:  his dad is Brendan Gleeson (MadEye Moody) and they were both in Deathly Hallows together because he played Bill Wesley!)

Thumbs up!

I know this doesn't seem like a lot for my flight home but on the first leg I had a row to myself (sweet, sweet stretched out sleep) and I also watched a couple films that are going to get their own entry next month.

(My drink pairing suggestion for any of these films is a tiny bottle of your favorite hooch and A LOT of water.  It's important to keep hydrated on a plane.)

My takeaways:

#1 - I've discovered that on a flight there are films you need to sacrifice to Morpheus.  I call them Sleeper Films.  I did this with Toy Story on my way home (sorry Pixar).  You put it on and it blocks out the sounds of airplane and crying children.  Bliss.

#2 - I guess I never realized (or maybe it's because of the specific airline?) that swear words are bleeped out of movies on airplanes. Silly. You can barely hear it anyway so what's the point?

#3 - Another fun fact:  Keegan-Michael Key was in Pitch Perfect 2 AND Tomorrowland.  He was definitely a treat in both films!  Glad to see he's getting some big screen time!

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

Who's on First?

Hey gang!

It’s a natural human condition to pick a thing you love above all others then fiercely defend it to those with differing opinions.  Such is the case with Doctor Who.

Linda and I are both late bloomers when it comes to the Doctor.  We discovered him (oddly at about the same time) through the new incarnation of the series.  There were already 7 seasons of new Who at that point, so neither of us have had the chance to explore the original doctors yet.  So just know that Linda and I are only revue-ing the Ninth through Twelfth doctors.  We are, in no way, dissing the former doctors, we just can’t speak to them.

That being said, we are girls with opinions and we like Who we like.  We've been discussing the Doctors as we've been watching, and now we want to share that with you guys.

Also:  there are some spoilers below if you haven’t watched any Doctor Who.  Read at your own risk.

It is with great pleasure that I introduce my Blogguest, Linda Moore.  Arguably, the most interesting woman in the world.  

Linda:  Thanks for inviting me!  If only we were together and drinking while we do this.  Of course it would never get done, or be hi-larry-us, but only to us.  

Sue:  Amen, Sister!

LM:  As Sue mentioned, I do not consider myself a sci fi (or syfy) fan, so completely wrote off the Dr. Who phenom when it started.  I can’t say what made me start to watch other than pressure from Netflix, and a long sewing project looming in my future.  I figured a couple of episodes could keep me company while I worked.

I was not hooked on the first episode.  There were mannequins and I couldn’t follow the storyline, but Netflix kept playing and so I stuck with it.  I’ve been a Whovian ever since.  But not one of those rabid kind that actually know all the rules of being a Doctor and remember the names of the enemies and keep it all in sequence.  That hurts too much.  I like the arc of the stories, and the characters and the silly lines (“it’s a timey wimey thing”).

SHE:  I actually did like the first episode (mannequins…creepy!!).  I fully agree about not being able to keep the entire Who universe (Whoniverse?) straight, but each Doctor has been compelling in a different way.  I love the idea of getting a variety of actors and character interpretation within the same world.  The element that KILLS ME about this show are the Dalaks.  Clearly they were designed in an era of low budget/no cgi television.  I know they are representing a sort of Nazi-like enemy in their single-minded pursuit of extermination, but a giant tin can with a toilet plunger arm?  C’mon guys…we couldn’t upgrade when we moved into the new millennium??  

LM:  Let’s start with the fact that I don’t have a favorite Doctor. I think that Christopher Eccleston has gotten short shrift in the whole deal because he only got one season.  And while David Tennant was arguably the most popular “modern” Doctor, it would not have happened if Christopher hadn’t gotten it all moving in season 1 MD (modern doctor).  He also is the only one to have a more contemporary get up, and had a very nice bad boy aesthetic going with his black leather. Apparently he wasn’t happy with the working conditions so made his exit and returned to the theatre.

SHE:  I DO have a favorite Doctor (so far, anyway) and he is David Tennant.  It’s not that I didn’t thoroughly enjoy Eccleston and Matt Smith (I’ll get to my thoughts on Capaldi later) but there was something about Tennant’s portrayal that completely drew me in.  He was a series of contradictions:  Goofy and serious.  Fractured and whole.  Social and lonely.  He had the longest run (as well as having both Russell T Davies AND Stephen Moffat writing episodes!) so there was a lot of time to give him some serious depth.  I think during his run we really got to flesh out the pain the Doctor feels about being the last Time Lord left.  Which is what makes the “Master” coming into the picture even more intriguing.  Tennant not only finds another Time Lord but the guy’s a dick. Bummer!!

LM:  What I think is odd about the Doctor is that when he regenerates he can remember all kinds of valuable information about his enemies, previous battles, and how alien technology works.  But he has no idea who is companion is and has no memory of their recent history (as in, like 10 minutes ago).  There was one exception- when Doctor the Tenth ran into Sarah Jane, who was a past companion along with a robotic dog, K9.  She figured in a couple of episodes- enough apparently to spin off her own short-lived show in the UK.

I did enjoy the Tenth (Tennant) a lot.  He had a nice range of funny, loving and vengeful (especially when he was without a companion).  Some of these episodes were kind of awkward because we were introduced to River (spoiler alert- his wife that was raised by aliens as an assassin to kill him in the future) while he was still managing a budding unrequited love interest with his companion Rose.  I’m going to say something controversial here- I’m not a fan of Rose.  Sure she’s plucky and all, but she strung her boyfriend along for ages when she clearly had a thing for the Time Lord.  He was a nice guy and she was a shit for being so calloused.  I also thought that the writers really wussed out in giving her a knock-off version of her Doctor to keep.  I think they wanted to figure out a way to make fans happy that wanted to get them together.  Get over it people.  He’s already got an assassin wife.

SHE:  Oh, I love the Rose!  Added bonus for me is that she’s married to Laurence Fox who plays DS Hathaway on Inspector Lewis.  Anyone who likes tame BBC mystery series should check it out.  He’s adorable.  She’s also currently in Penny Dreadful PLUS when she was young she was a pop star!  Love her!

I also really enjoyed her relationship with the Doctor (both Eccleston and Tennant but mostly Tennant).  She was fearless and determined and took no shit.  And I know she kind of threw over her BF for the Doctor…but come on.  He took her time traveling.  Who’s head WOULDN’T be turned?

I also loved Donna.  Tennant’s Doctor sort of shunned relationships after Martha Jones (she fell in love with him and got kind of needy, frankly.  He was like “Nope, not hurting another woman!”) so he insisted upon a platonic relationship with Donna.  Tennant and the actress, Catherine Tate, are friends in real life so their chemistry on screen was really fun to watch.

LM:  One thing I really enjoyed about this Doctor was the process he went through when he knew his time was coming to an end.  The Ood kept singing to him about it, and he wasn‘t ready to go.  I thought that was touching.  Towards the end he was definitely more profound, and more “human”.  “We’re all stories in the end.  Make it a good one.”

SHE:  You’re right, that was great.  I cried.

LM:  Then we come to Matt of the floppy hair, and bow tie.  At 26 he’s the youngest Doctor. Most of his stories are intertwined with Amy and Rory who both Sue and I love.  Because of that, I do really like his episodes.  I thought it was interesting that the writers made him a lot more huggy and kissy than the others. His predecessors were much more PDA-averse and now the new Doctor is the most PDA-adverse of them all.  What does it mean?

SHE:  We also both enjoyed that he would make comments about being relieved that he wasn’t a ginger.  Funny, because Eccleston’s Doctor WANTED to be a ginger. Nice touch.  One of the things I enjoyed about Matt Smith is that while he’s very silly and energetic, he also shows some profound depth.  At one point, probably in his second season, I remember thinking “wow, he’s a REALLY good actor”.

LM:  Each of these Doctors also have an arc throughout.  His is the crack in the universe.  For some reason, I really liked that theme.  Though in the end, I didn’t like that it included the Time Lords on the other side wanting to get through.  Keep your own universe people.  You’ve already expired in this one!

And now we come to Peter Capaldi.  As with all regenerations, I had to observe a respectful period of mourning before I could even deign to watch the new one.  Each time I felt very loyal to the old one and was ready to hate the new one.  And each time, I couldn’t.  They each have something very compelling.  Well done, casting agent!  I like his sartorial aesthetic for the most part.  And I like that he changes his clothes.  The others wore the same damn thing all of the time.  He’s also spending more time contemplating who he is, why he chose this regeneration, and if he’s a good person.  I think it’s interesting that he acknowledges that in some way, he chooses his face (Apparently this incarnation really likes that guy in the Pompeii episode…).  He tells Clara that the Doctor she first met (loved!) chose a face that either he thought others would like or reflected who he wanted to be.  By that, I would guess this one is here to be serious and grown up about these things.  I’m also a bit curious if they chose an “older” doctor just to take the “will they or won’t they” question out of the mix, and let us concentrate on other things.  He lets Clara be a strong character, which is fun. However, he does do a lot less talking about what he’s going to do and then dishes out the lessons afterwards.  I’m not sure I like that part. He is lonely as always, and I think this one might be the worst if left alone too long.  Also, so far, I don’t like his overarching arc because it’s not very subtle- yes, yes, everyone is ending up in the Promised Land with the creepy lady.  Got it.  I’m not sure I really care.  

SHE:  Linda, we are similar in that we mourn the loss of each Doctor before embracing the new one.  Capaldi has been a struggle for me to get on board with, quite honestly.  I think part of that is because it’s also been a struggle for Clara as well.  I like Clara as a companion a lot.  She’s darling and smart and adventurous.  She seemed VERY reluctant to embrace this Doctor (I read, actually, that Capaldi and Moffat had to team up and convince her to stay.  It kind of shows.).  She does finally decide to stick with him, but I honestly wasn’t sure I was ready when she was.  I think it took me a few more episodes to really get on board.  I do, however, love his sense of humor (he has some good under-the-breath one liners) and I’m always a fan of the Scottish dudes. David Tennant is actually also Scottish, but as Linda has pointed out to me, they didn’t want a Scottish Doc when he was on.  Whatevs.  I love the Scots.

LM:  I think the key question is-which Doctor would you most like to travel with? I think the Eleventh (Matt) might be the most fun, but if we got into some serious shit, I think I’d prefer to be with Tenth (David).  How about you Sue?

SHE:  Tennant is my fave, so I’d have to go with him.  I agree about Matt Smith, he WOULD be fun to travel with.  He’s super cute and seems like a goofball.   But yeah.  Tennant.

(My drink pairing suggestion:  honestly I’m not even sure if the Doctor drinks or not – and it’s been debated on the interwebs – so I’d suggest a pint or two of Brewster’s Brewing Company Britannia’s Brew.  Apparently it has “truly national flavours, including English Boadiciea and Sovereign hops as well as seaweed and heather to represent Wales and Scotland”.  Pretty much sums it up.)

Our takeaways:

#1 – We have become TOTAL Doctor nerds!  

#2 – I’m clearly living up to the Erokan motto “We’re funny…to us!” with my titling lately.  Sorry about that, folks.

#3 – We both realized that it’s not about being a “Syfy” fan necessarily…this is all about good writing and acting.  And as Linda said to me - it’s reassuring to know that when the Aliens do come, there’s always a Doctor out there to save us.

xoxo…hashtagSueslife

The Wrath of Caan!

Hey gang!

I know, I know.  My subject of choice seems pretty odd and specific.  The weird thing is, I kept seeing that Rollerball was on TV and debating if I should watch it.  Then I saw that Alien Nation was on and it sparked the idea to write about Caan in science fiction films.  So there you go.

I didn't choose his arguably most popular role, Sonny Corleone, or the role I remember most fondly, Brian Piccolo.  But these were both fun movies to watch and dissect.

Hope you enjoy!

Rollerball - released in 1975

Wow, 1970's.  You were amazing and horrific, all wrapped into one neat package.

I am pretty sure I saw Rollerball in the theatre...I would have been 11 years old when it came out.  The more I look back on the films I've seen, the more I absolutely love the fact that my mom barely had any restrictions on what I watched.  I mean, every once in a while she'd try to make a stand (like when I was 9 and The Birds was on TV...she wouldn't let me watch it which was ridiculous because 3 years earlier I'd seen a triple feature of horror films) but mostly she probably either wanted to get me out of the house or wanted a couple hours herself in an air conditioned movie theatre.  Anyway, I don't remember who I saw this with (maybe my brother John?) but parts of it stuck with me.

Which parts stuck?  The Rollerball parts. It's touted as being this really violent look at a dystopian future...but looking at this film in contrast to films being made today...it's like a bedtime story.  Albeit a weird bedtime story, but you get my point.  Think Hunger Games without the bow and arrow and all the tributes just shoving each other.

I had a really hard time figuring out the point of the conflict in this film.  James Caan plays the best and most famous Rollerballer, he totally kicks ass.  He's a worldwide hero.  Rollerball has been created to eliminate war, so it's a very violent game with few rules.  It's kind of like Roller Derby meets Quidditch.  You skate around a track like a bat out of hell, some of the players are on motorcycles to make it more dangerous and you have to throw a little ball into a magnetic target. Caan's character is being rewarded for his service by getting a TV special made in his honor, but he's also being asked to retire.  He (and I) can't figure out why they want him to retire so he starts to look into the corporation (with the uninspired name "Energy Corporation").  Eventually we find out that this form of sports entertainment is also supposed to "demonstrate the futility of individualism" (thanks Wikipedia....cuz I honestly wasn't gonna get that on my own).  In fact, even the coach yells "This wasn't meant to be a game!  Never!"  So dramatic, that coach!  The final battle is a no-holds-barred blood fest.  No penalties, no time limit, straight up death to all.  Naturally our man is the last one standing.  Yay individualism!

James Caan is a baby faced youngster in this film.  I think he's maybe supposed to be a Texan but unless he's muttering (which he does quite a bit, actually...I guess that's his way of playing a "Texan"), he sounds straight up NYC to me.  Ba-da-bing, y'all!  He also has a total jew-fro.  Rollerball was made after Godfather (Sonny!!) so he was a pretty hot commodity.  And he's good in this, without a doubt, but it's no Brian's Song (does anyone remember that TV movie about the football player who dies of cancer?  I'll love James Caan forever because of that role.)  John Houseman is also in this film, as the head of Energy Corporation. He has the most formidable eyebrows ever!  Seriously, I felt like their wiry hairs might reach through the screen and wind around my ankle!  I kept remembering him from the 70's TV show, Paper Chase.  It was about law students and he was the scary head professor.  He was wonderful.

The best surprise discovery in this film is Richard LeParmentier.  You may be asking:  Sue, who is Richard LeParmentier and why do you care?  Well, let me enlighten you.  He has a small part in this film.  But he's much better known (and recognizable) as Admiral Motti in Star Wars.  He's the dude that Darth Vader chokes!!!!!  Darth finds his lack of faith....disturbing.   Best. Role. Ever.

The aesthetic style of the 70's is painful and in abundance.  The font they use for everything from the titles to the uniform numbers is bubbly looking, like how I used to write letters when I was 11.  And the outfits are all tight pants for the guys and flowy caftans for the women.  The women, by the way, are basically concubines for the athletes.  All the women.  Maud Adams (Octopussy!!) plays Caan's ex-wife who was "given" to an executive because he wanted her.  She had the biggest female role and it was like two scenes.  I was definitely having issues with how the women were portrayed in this film.  The sets were all 70's futuristic too. Everything was white with glass or mirrored accents.  There is a talking computer named Zero and the design was a box with rows of glass circles looking into the innards, which consisted of  LED lights and tubes with bubbling water. Oooh, future-y!!  And you know, that's what makes a computer run...bubbling water and lights.  I'm contracting at Apple...I know this shit.  I heard Dave the Computer was just coming off his 2001 fame and got really into drugs, otherwise they would have cast him.  :)

The circle is actually a big visual feature in this film.  Buildings are circular, circles are design accents, the goal and ball are both circles.  I'm assuming this is to hammer home the futility idea?  Everybody just keeps going round and round?  Or maybe it just looks cool.

Norman Jewison directed this film.  He directed Moonstruck, Fiddler on The Roof, Thomas Crowne Affair.  He was big on the arty shots in this film (a man's back muscles while working out, Caan's hands through a glass sculpture, lots of shots of cityscapes) and apparently showing sweaty faces is part of his cinematic style.  I guess it conveys tension.  There were definitely a lot of sweaty faces in this film and it made me tense because I wanted to wipe them all down.  So, that's a win, right?

(Oddly, James Caan is drinking what looks like a mimosa in one shot, so why not?  Let's pair mimosas with this brutal depiction of a dystopian future!)

Alien Nation - released in 1988

Now we see James Caan 13 years later.  He's aging pretty well, but he certainly isn't baby faced anymore.  This film costars Mandy Patinkin, just a couple years after Princess Bride.  We can't see how he's aging because he's in full alien makeup.

This film is basically a buddy cop movie, the twist being one is a cranky veteran cop and the other is a wisecracking black kid from Detroit.  Oh wait, no, that's 48 Hrs.   He's a cranky veteran cop and the other is a crazy, suicidal but brilliant cop who's wife died...oh wait, no, that's Lethal Weapon.  Cranky veteran and Chinese cop?  Nope, that's Rush Hour.  Okay, so I thought perhaps...maybe....just a bit....this film is a tad derivative.  This in no way means I didn't like it.  I'm a big fan of buddy cop movies.  So for reals, James Caan is cranky as fuck and kind of a loser.  He hateshateshates the aliens that landed in the "near future" (1991, heh), who have come to our planet and are fully assimilated.  So one of these aliens kills his partner and he gets paired with Mandy who plays Sam Francisco (ha!), who's the first alien to become a detective.  Caan volunteers to be his partner because he thinks he can use Mandy to help get the aliens who killed his partner, but in the end he becomes a mentor and friend to Mandy who is a good and upstanding citizen and a really good cop.  There is nothing that is original or innovative about this movie, but it's a nice friendship film.  I think it was successful because James Caan is a good actor and Mandy Patinkin is a great actor.  Even covered in alien makeup.  

Mandy's character loves being on Earth; getting opportunities he wouldn't have had on his planet, being able to give his family the best possible life.  I imagine this is how my father felt when he came to America.  Mandy gets this truly inspired little speech which I think applies as much today as ever:  "You humans are very curious to us.  You invite us to live among you in an atmosphere of equality that we've never known before, You give us ownership of our own lives for the first time and you ask no more of us than you do of yourselves.  I hope you understand how special your world is, how unique a people you humans are.  Which is why it is all the more painful and confusing to us that so few of you seem capable of living up to the ideals you set for yourself."  Heady stuff for a goofy buddy film.

(My drink pairing suggestion is a big glass of spoiled milk if you are an alien or a glass of Smirnoff over ice if you're human.)

My takeaways:

#1 - I read that James Caan has been up and down in his choice of roles.  I'm particularly glad he chose to be Buddy's dad in Elf.

#2 - I think Caan's real skill is being in films with really great actors.  Because he's good.  But he plays well with others that are great.

#3 - His son, Scott Caan, is on Hawaii 5-0 (is that still on?) and looks quite a bit like him from his Rollerball years.  I'm not sure why this is a takeaway but it is.

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

Hollywood takes on Broadway

Hi gang!

I happened upon this post in my favorite way...I was flipping through channels and found my first entry, which led me to my second.   And it's musicals, which I love!  In fact, when I was in college, I wrote a paper about the structure of the musical film...I think I even got an A.  

Taking a Broadway show and shoving it into the film format is a daunting task, I would imagine.  Here we examine how successful some of the newer endeavors are.

Hope you enjoy!

Annie - released in 2014

I accidentally watched about 10 minutes of this the other day and was not planning on watching more but then my coworker David suggested I write about it.  I imagine this is because I was nonstop complaining about it for a good 20 minutes of our lunch break and he likely just didn't want to hear it.

As most of you know, I'm a big fan of musicals.  I really wanted to like it.  The Annie of this film, Quvenzhane Wallis (henceforth known as Q) was nominated for an Academy Award for her first film and is cute as a bug in a rug.  I had high hopes.  They were quickly and cruelly dashed, though.  I think this film got panned in the reviews and it's no wonder.

Where do I even start?  I was unsure if Q did her own singing, but after I googled, it appears she does.  She's....okay.  She can carry a tune and all, but it's nothing to write home about.  And she doesn't hold a candle to the atrocity that is Cameron Diaz.  SHE. IS. AWFUL.  I wish I could say it's just her singing, but Cameron overacts so hard in this film I think she might have pulled something.  Jaime Foxx plays the new version of Daddy Warbucks (his name in the film is Stacks...not sure why they felt the need to rename the character).  Foxx isn't a bad singer but nothing about the arrangements of these songs (especially the new ones) were either inspiring or...well...melodic, quite frankly.  There was one song where Foxx and Cameron started in a duet, then Q joined them. During the duet, I thought I might poke out my own eardrums.  And Cosmo's too, so he wouldn't have to suffer.  When Q joined them, the mix was so terrible I could barely tell who was singing.  

The director is a guy named Will Gluck.  I've seen his film Easy A and liked it quite a bit.  This one...not so much.

They also tried to drag this story into the new millennium and it went kicking and screaming.  They made the former orphans into foster kids and Daddy Stacks is the CEO of a cell phone company.

Do I even tell you guys about the dancing?  Let's just call it "body shifting" because it was like some sort of free style extravaganza at the School for the Dance Challenged.  There were a few of the "foster kids" (formerly orphans) that are probably Broadway kids so they were good, but not one of the main characters had a right AND a left foot. 

And Rose Byrne.  Why did you agree to do this film?  I'm not sure I can unsee and unhear what you did.  Before this, I loved you.  Now I feel like our relationship is sullied.

It's a hard knock life, indeed.

(My drink pairing for this is the politically correctly named Little Orphan Annie.  Vodka mixed into a Shirley Temple.  Curly hair girls unite! Or untie.  Depending.)

Into the Woods - released in 2014

It was suggested that I pair Annie with Q's debut film, but I've been really curious about seeing Into the Woods, so that's what I did.

I haven't seen much Sondheim in the past (Assassins at a local theatre company and Sweeney Todd in the theater and on film) and I'm coming to the conclusion that he's not my favorite composer/lyricist.  I read that Oscar Hammerstein was his mentor which would lead me to believe I'd love him, but he has his own distinct style, which I respect;  it's just not really MY style.  He certainly doesn't shy away from a dark theme, though, which is kind of great.  In Into the Woods, Cinderella's ugly stepsisters get parts of their feet cut off to fit in the slipper, a main character dies, and there's this weird Obi Wan moment between the Baker and his dad.  Good stuff!!  The thing about his music, though, is none of it ever stays with me, no tune sticks in my head.  Much of the music in this one actually reminded me of some Beatnik, spoken word poetry shit - "we ARE goING intothewoods!" (think: So I Married an Axe Murderer..ooh, I should revue that!)

So the film version of Into the Woods stars Meryl Streep as the Witch. Apparently Meryl enjoys supplementing her well deserved Oscar winning roles with musicals.  I'm glad Meryl has the Hollywood clout to do any project she wants, honest I am, I just kind of wish she had a bit more self awareness about her singing abilities.  She's not terrible, mind you.  It just ain't no Meryl "accent".  That's the stuff of brilliance.  I'd say her singing is mediocre at best.  This type of music seems to suit her voice FAR MORE than Mamma Mia, however (and come on...next to Pierce Brosnan Meryl could have croaked like a frog and everyone would have cried "Brava!").  And acting-wise, she's aces.  Also, she goes from old and haggard to young(er) and beautiful.  I swear her "young" hairstyle looks like it's modeled after Wynona Judd's hair.  It's kind of awesome. And blue.

 I was seriously worried about the cast being up to this task and was pleasantly surprised.  Emily Blunt was great (I was hoping she'd be...I kind of love her) as was Anna Kendrick (we know she can sing, so no surprise there).  What up with Anna Kendrick's Resting Bitch Face, though?  Get an expression, Anna!  I'm sure you'd be a lovely girl if you just smiled!

Chris Pine plays Prince Charming (his best line:  I was raised to be charming, not sincere) is adorable and appears to approach his role as if he were William Shatner performing it (maybe it's how he really wants to act when he's playing James T Kirk?).  I give him huge props for his performance, prancing around and wearing a lot of makeup.  Brave.

There are two kids in it.  Both are as precocious as fuck.  The boy is a total little urchin; I'm sure he's performed the Gavrosh role in Les Miz more than once. You can just tell by his over-pronunciated Cockney accent and bowl cut hairdo.

Johnny Depp plays the Big Bad Wolf in a child molester-y manner, so that's kind of gross and Tracey Ullman as Gavrosh's mom kicks ass as usual.

Rob Marshall directed this.  He directed Chicago and before that was a choreographer on Broadway (plus choreographing Victor/Victoria!) so he knows what he's doing.  I give him full marks for not trying some experimental bullshit (Annie).  He staged this almost like it was a play.  Kudos!   If you're gonna make regular actors sing, let's not muddy the situation even more by changing the time period or sets (again, looking at you, Annie)

Honestly, for the most part I enjoyed this film.  It's a bit over 2 hours, so it was loooonnnng, but it was fun and well-performaed.

(My drink pairing for this film is a Dark 'n Stormy.  Aptly named and yum!)

My takeaways:

#1 - Sometimes one film adaptation of a Broadway musical is enough.  Why does Hollywood continually mess with something that already works?

#2 - Actors who are either mediocre singers or can not sing at all:  Please stop accepting roles in musicals!!  There are SO many actors out there who really can sing (Idina Menzel, Joseph Gordon-Levitt,  Kristin Chenoweth, Ewan McGregor (!)...even Gwyneth Paltrow, for crying out loud)..just let them have the roles.

#3 - Please notice I didn't even go there with Les Miserables.  I just can't even.

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

Poldark: The Truth about Abs

Hey gang!

This is a bit of a change to my typical format but I was inspired to write about this TV series I just finished watching.  So not only is it television but I also didn't pair up any elements.  This is a stand alone type deal. 

Also, it's maybe a bit snarkier than usual.  Hope you enjoy! 

Poldark - 2015 TV series

Beth and I made the great sacrifice for women and Masterpiece Theatre lovers everywhere and watched the whole of Poldark's Season One (8 episodes).  I feel like this post needs a tagline. "Come for the abs, stay for the smile".

Aiden Turner and his marvelous abs play Ross Poldark.  He is truly beautiful.  I mean, there are the obvious muscles, but (even though this is a melodrama so there isn't much that's happy) there were moments when he'd throw a little smirk or sweet smile out that stopped us in our tracks.  When he told his wife he loved her, we both clutched our chests and sighed.  No lie.  He was a theatre guy for a long time, apparently, but in '08 made the leap to films.  Most notably he's been in all the Hobbit films.  I confess to not having seen the Hobbit films, so I can't speak to that, but he has completely won me over in this series.

I'm pretty sure there are other cast members, although it's kind of hard to remember much beyond Poldark's ridiculous hotness.  One that stands out is a guy I keep seeing in other BBC/Masterpiece Theatre stuff.  His name is Philip Davis and I recognized him from a Sherlock episode (the Bartelby Crumblepatch version) in which he plays an evil cabbie.  In this series, he's a terrible servant.  By terrible I mean that he's useless, he doesn't do shit.  Plus he has black teeth.  Black.  So gross.

I would love nothing more than to tell you all that I've been riveted by this nuanced and poignant melodrama.  But, in fact, I wasn't.  It's a bit meandering and bit dull, truth be told.  In fact, I remarked after the first few episodes that we wouldn't still be watching this if it weren't for the promise of more abs.  Disappointingly, they did not deliver.  What?  WHAT??  C'mon Masterpiece Theatre!!  You didn't put Aiden Turner in there with that glorious chest to have it covered in a shirt, vest and two fucking coats all the time, did you?? Because if that is the case, I believe you do not know your audience AT ALL.  I bet if we took a poll, very few people would say they are watching this series for the fascinating peek into the lives of Cornish miners.  I mean, we haven't even seen a mining accident.  And the expected love triangle isn't really there because Poldark loves his wifezzzzzzzzzzzzz...oh, sorry did I doze off?

And while I'm on topics like plot, lets discuss the directing.  There are two directors of this series and one, according to IMDB, is "known for his strong use of landscape and often gothic themes."  Well, "strong use of landscape" is an understatement, and clearly the other director took this dude's lead.  I have seen so many shots of the breeze gently swaying thistles and long grass that I could probably become a fucking botanist.  Seriously.  It's not even some metaphoric thing to show the passage of time or anything.  Just grass blowing in the wind.  Or sometimes it'll be some super odd shot of a horse's hoof (still attached and all, just "artsy") or the wheel of a carriage.  Honestly some of them were baffling.  The most offensive was when Poldark FINALLY takes off his shirt and they immediately pan to a bonfire nearby. What. The. Hell.  I was so irritated I yelled "Fuck you, Fire!" at the television.  Perhaps not my finest moment.  It really wasn't the fire's fault.

These "artsy" shots combined with the lack of exciting things happening made each episode seem incredibly long.  At one point, we paused to fill up our champagne glasses (because a girl needs champagne when watching handsome men on TV, right?) and saw that only 13 minutes had passed. 13 minutes.  We thought surely we were near the end of the episode.  It was like we fell into some weird Poldark time warp where you feel like you've been watching for hours, yet you've barely entered the episode.  When we realized the last episode of the season was two hours we both groaned out loud.

I'm sure you are all thinking that I've been exceedingly critical of this series and am done with it, but I'm fully planning on watching Season Two (most likely with Beth and plenty of alcohol).  I think I can speak for Beth too when I say that we remain ever hopeful that the directors will realize their mistake and have the swaying-grass-to-bare-chest ratio swing in our favor.

(My drink pairing suggestion for this entire series is pink champagne  It highlights the good in the series and mellows the not-as-good)

My takeaways:

#1 - While the acting in the whole series is actually really good, I think my favorite character is Garrick the dog.

#2 -  Hot men on TV are like the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down.

#3 - I learned recently that these books were started in the late 40's, the author took a break then wrote the rest of the series in the mid 70's.  I thought for sure these were written in maybe the 1800's so I was kind of flabbergasted.  Also, why did he take a break?  Was he as bored with the lives of miners as I was?  Perhaps.  

xoxo...hashtagSueslife