Murder, She Wrote

I inadvertently went down a weird Agatha Christie rabbit hole recently. I didn't mean to...there was no rhyme or reason. Suddenly I realized I had watched 3 different Christie based things within a couple weeks. That's just begging for a "blog" post, right?

I'd classify myself as a mild Agatha Christie fan. I read some of her books when I was young and I've seen many of the films based on her books although I've never watched the Marple or Poirot BBC series. In the end, I realize I'm not a huge fan of ensemble pieces. I like them well enough but they can become a bit taxing, you know. So many characters to remember. So much drama. 

With that said, I did attend a murder mystery party not long ago, hosted by the awesome Kristin. It's pretty much a Christie ensemble murder story with lots of booze. This was great fun topped off by the fact that my randomly-chosen character was the co-murderer with Beth's randomly-chosen character! Art imitating life? Well, not unless the victim is a bottle of champagne. In that case, lock us up - we're serial killers!

Can you tell we are all trying to stay in character for the photo?

Agatha Christie led a pretty interesting life - her family believed her mother had "second sight" and was psychic, she had a rather bohemian childhood and traveled a great deal which became the basis of many of her stories. She divorced Colonel Christie in the late 1920's after he confessed to being in love with another woman. This is when she famously went missing and lost her memories for 10 days. I'd LOVE to know what really happened - she was famous enough at this point that there was a country-wide search for her - but she always maintained she had no recollection of what happened before turning up in a Harrogate hotel. Fascinating. My favorite bit of trivia about this is that Arthur Conan Doyle gave one of Christie's gloves to a "spirit medium" to help find her. Like the spirit medium was a bloodhound or something. Nice, dude.

Here is how my Agatha Christie journey progressed:

Three-ish weeks ago:

Murder on the Orient Express - released in 2017

I felt like watching a movie one Friday night and this was in the Amazon Prime lineup, so I chose it. 

If I were to rename it, I'd call it Mustache on the Orient Express because:

Hercule Poirot being overtaken by his facial hair.

I'm having a deja vu moment about this film. I feel like I've either written about it before or written about Kenneth Branagh before (well, I did in my Harry Potter post ages ago) but maybe it's just because after I see a film he is in, all I think about is how much he must love himself and what a dope he was to leave Emma Thompson. 

In all seriousness, he's a good director and a good actor. I generally enjoy his films and this is no exception although IMHO his best film was Dead Again. The cast was great - Daisy Ridley, Leslie Odum, Jr, Olivia Colman, Judi Dench, Michelle Pfeiffer, Josh Gad...so many that hardly anyone got much screen time. Another drawback of ensemble casts. 

Branagh plays Poirot, who is a complete egomaniac but really good at his job, so I feel like with the exception of his fake French accent and that atrocious mustache he's pretty much playing himself.

(My drink pairing for this is a glass of Raki - Turkey's version of Ouzo. Don't breathe near any flames!!)

Last Sunday, 3pm:

Doctor Who, Season 4 Ep 7 "The Unicorn and the Wasp"

I had just finished listening to a really great book - Kate Atkinson's Life After Life - and as I was researching the reader (who I enjoyed very much) I found out she played Agatha Christie in a Doctor Who episode. I kind of remembered it, but decided to watch it again.

It's a really fun episode that takes place right before she goes missing so she hadn't written many of her books yet and she certainly didn't know that she would become the best-selling author of all time. There are a ton of subtle and not-so-subtle references to her characters and books which are fun to identify. 

It has an ensemble cast (that very much mirrors Clue, actually) but it also has a giant alien wasp, so it's all good.

(My drink pairing for this is a Bee's Knees. A 1920's based cocktail made with gin and honey. Delightful and sting-y!)

The TARDIS makes an appearance.

Last Sunday, 7pm:

Crooked House - released in 2017

After watching some more Doctor Who, I decided (again) that I was in a movie mood. Crooked House looked interesting and I didn't realize it was based on a Christie novel until I read the description on Amazon.

Our protagonist is a PI named Charles Hayward so we aren't getting the Christie usual detectives (Poirot or Marple). Charles is younger and previously had an affair with the woman who hired him. This makes it a bit more "noir" to me and a bit seedier than I expect from Agatha.

Anyway, it's about a fucked up family so...guess what...ensemble cast. This has Glen Close, Terence Stamp, Christina Hendricks and Gillian Anderson to name a few. 

A note on Gillian - in the ensuing years since X-Files, Gillian Anderson has lost weight and gained acting chops (she was great in American Gods). She also, oddly, has gained a permanent British accent, a-la Madonna. I looked it up (because seriously!) and apparently she lived in England for a bit when she was young so now she has an accent that "changes depending on who she's talking to". 

Is there an eye roll emoji? Oh yes, there is!  

(My drink pairing for this is whatever your favorite HOUSE cocktail is...get what I did there??)

My takeaways:

#1 - Maybe my favorite ensemble film is Murder by Death.

#2 - Did anyone know that Agatha Christie wrote "romances" under a pseudonym? According to her daughter, while they are all about love in one form or another, they are not traditional romances because none have a happy ending.

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

Short Ties, High Pants: Sci Fi movies of the 1950s

I'm not always a person who needs things to be literal but there are certain things I stand firm on.

An example was a few years ago when my book club read a Zombie novel called Zone One by Colson Whitehead. Whitehead has won a Pulitzer (not for this novel) so the man is no slouch. We knew going in that this was going to be a well written book. Still - one expects at least ONE character to be bitten by a Zombie. I mean, it can be a well-read Zombie if that makes everyone feel better.

Anyway, after reading the book, I felt robbed. Not one nibble.

So guess what doesn't happen in The Day The Earth Stood Still? Hmph.

As followers of this blog know, my dear friend Beth honors her late father's birthday by watching a film that he loved on that day. This has been dubbed "White Buffalo Day" because White Buffalo was one of his all-time favorite films. Last year we watched They Might Be Giants which is not at all about the band. So, true to form, this year we stocked up on a lot of wine and cheese and watched another favorite.

The Day the Earth Stood Still - released in 1951

So I think if the Earth ACTUALLY stood still, wouldn't we all fly off into space? I mean, gravity would be gone, right? I'm no scientist but I'm pretty sure I'm right, or at least on the right track, about this one...

There is really almost nothing not to like about sci fi films from the 50s. They typically have very interesting production design and almost always directly point at the political climate of their time. McCarthyism was running rampant in the 50s; there was a lot of fear about Communist invasion or a nuclear holocaust. People were scared and although filmmakers were discouraged to directly criticize or point this out, they still did and they weren't all that subtle. Mutant bugs, aliens descending from other planets, you name it, it's in there.

This film is no different. A lovely gentleman alien, Klaatu, comes to Earth with his massive robot. (No, this is not a euphemism. Stay with me.) 

Klaatu and Gort, a match made in the heavens

He says he comes in peace and the military's response is to shoot him. Later we find out (in an "I told you so" moment) that those that live on other planets think the Earth's inhabitants are weapon-loving jerks (I'm paraphrasing) and they are worried about what we'll do.

Wait. When was this made? Sigh.

This film was directed by Robert Wise who started his career as an editor on films like Citizen Kane. He went on to direct some big budget, iconic films - West Side Story and Sound of Music. TDTESS was an early directorial effort (his debut as a director was on Curse of the Cat People which is a great film!). The cinematography is gorgeous - a bit Noir, a bit Expressionism, a lot of artistic shadows.

(Quick note about German Expressionism and Film Noir - in film (similar to the art movement), Expressionism was about depicting inner turmoil. This genre came to life in 1920s Germany, highlighting the post WWI atmosphere that was full of anxiety and distrust. And the Noir genre created feelings of pessimism and menace with their moody lighting effects. So this is a totally FUN movie!) 

Also, many films clearly are influenced by TDTESS. Just for a start, I noticed that two animated films, Monsters vs Aliens and Iron Giant pull heavily from this film. 

But really, let's give a shout out to Gort, the 8-foot robot that is only trying to protect Klaatu. In real life the actor was 7ft 7in, so this was some true method acting. His robot suit looked like it was made of neoprene and, irritatingly, kept folding at the knees. I mentioned that he was "moving all fabric-y". I blame the wine.

Honestly, this film could have been made right now. The same fears are relevant in our current political climate. 

The only differences I see is that the soundtrack made heavy use of the Theremin (Of course. All 50s sci fi films did.) and all the men wore short ties and high pants. That shit wouldn't fly today.

(My drink pairing for this film is a Manhattan. Not the project, just the cocktail.)

On the flip side, Beth and I decided to round out our experience by watching the remake.

The Day the Earth Stood Still - released in 2008

A short message to Keanu Reeves who plays Klaatu:

Keanu. Dude. For some reason I always want to give you the benefit of the doubt (I mean, you are the impetus of my motto "One doesn't have to be good at one's job for me to want to have a fling" Well, my motto is nastier, actually, but sometimes my aunt reads this) but you never deliver. What is with the ONE expression for the entire film? Was your director really okay with this?

Keanu as Klaatu - note the expression

In the hospital - same expression

Doing math - SAME EXPRESSION

So, the remake. It's a pretty good film, actually. It's much more like what you'd expect a sci fi film of the Aughts to be. Good, solid effects. Good, solid acting (well, mostly). Good, but kind of unremarkable, in my opinion.

Here's the thing. The 50's version is a lot more hopeful and uplifting. The Aughts are way more about telling it like it is. A perfect example is the single mother storyline. In the 50's, the kid is of the tie-wearing, polite, "gosh, golly" variety. Annoyingly so, actually. And the mom, Patricia Neal, is just looking to get remarried. The '08 version's kid is played by Jaden Smith (that's right...heir to the Fresh Prince's throne) and the stepmom/scientist is played by Jennifer Connolly. Since she's a stepmom, they don't really have a connection at the outset but eventually - when humanity is literally being wiped out by the nano bot aliens - they have a moment and realize they're cool. Well, phew. Just in time.

My favorite moment, though - and in true Beth/Sue style - is when Jaden hopes Keanu can bring his long dead father back to life. When Keanu woodenly lets him know that's impossible, Jaden reacts by crying while Beth and I immediately and simultaneously launched into our very best Zombie impressions. Braaiiiins.

There are a couple stand-out cool things - 

1) We see the alien's origin story of why he has a human body (spoiler - they take a DNA sample). Keanu is basically "born" out of this awful looking placenta-type material when he enters our atmosphere. Beth kept calling it "Tilapia". Thankfully not my favorite seafood.

2) 2008 Gort has this really cool looking texture (not a man in a neoprene suit!) - it looked a bit grainy and had some shimmery movement. Turns out it was foreshadowing Gort dissolving into the little nano robot bugs that were destroying all of humankind. LOTS of particle animation (think the big sand face in The Mummy). 

In the end, though, the '08 version of TDTESS was pretty bleak. One reviewer at the time summed it up perfectly: This remake of the 1951 genre classic might have better visions and visuals than the low-budget original, but it lacks the heart and sense of wonder the first film had.

And the Earth never stopped spinning.

(My drink pairing for this film is a Fuzzy Navel in honor of Beth's dad. If you remember from last year, he was so amused by this drink that he bought all the ingredients but ultimately thought it was terrible. So let's make one, toss it and have a glass of wine instead!)

My takeaways:

#1 - Sci fi movies of the 50s are really fantastic.

#2 - Robots of the 50s are also pretty fantastic even when their costumes are...less than fantastic.

#3 - Happy birthday Jim Masse!

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

Small Booze

Happy Week between Western Easter and Eastern Easter, everybody!

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before but my take on Easter (either one) is that if Christ rises from the grave, he's a Zombie. This is plain and simple math in my book. 

Logical consequence:  

When one rises from the dead, one is classified as a Zombie.

Jesus rises from the dead.

Therefore, Jesus is a Zombie.

Thanks to David Fitzgerald for posting this on FB.

This was kind of a banner year for my traditional Easter gathering. Not only zombies but it was also April Fool's Day AND my cat's birthday. Amazing.

But the cherry on top of this monumental day was the once-in-a-lifetime event - NBC's live performance of Jesus Christ Superstar, starring John Legend, Sarah Bareillis and Alice Cooper. WHAT??? Sign me up.

If you know me at all, you know I live for these train wreck events. They almost never fail to deliver in their absurdity - although The Wiz was pretty "meh" (see my thoughts on it here:   ) I think I've seen every one of them except A Christmas Story. I guess I just didn't have it in me last December to brave it.

I admire that NBC tries their hardest to bring a bit of Broadway to television - I mean everyone has to have goals, right, no matter how lofty?  So here goes.

Jesus Christ Superstar - aired April 2018

Too bad you can't see Alice's shoes.

I had been seeing the commercials for this show for weeks and every time I thought, "Alice Cooper looks NUTS". So of COURSE I was going to watch.

This year's Easter gathering was no less boozy than any other year so my NBC live event partner-in-crime, Beth and I tipsily cleaned up the party detritus and sat down to watch the spectacle. Beth's husband Todd was a hard NO on this one so he left before it even started.

I'm going to start by saying that I'm not a big fan of Andrew Lloyd Weber. It's not like Sondheim where his music actually pisses me off, but it rarely resonates with me.  There was a tribute to him on NBC for his 70th birthday last week (and to garner interest in the show, I imagine. Sorry Andrew - HBD!!) so I learned a bit of Weber history. JCS was originally created as a concept album and, once it gained popularity, it became a stage production, debuting in 1971 with Ben Vereen playing Judas! Essentially, it's a rock opera.

So, picture this. Beth and I are sitting on my couch, a bit drunk. Neither of us are religious so we are kind of spotty on the events leading up to the crucifixion and it had been a long day of brunching so our attention span left a bit to be desired.

In one of the first songs the lyric is "Cool your face down". Beth looked at me and said "What the fuck does that mean?" I raised a knowing brow and said "The 70's" like that explained anything at all. Apparently this was good enough for Beth and set the tone for the remainder of the musical. 

Let's be honest - musicals that have no spoken dialog are tough even when you are 100% paying attention so you all can imagine how this went.

I think the set designer and costumer were both trying to make the look updated and relevant. The set design ended up looking a lot like the sets for Rent - industrial stripped down scaffolding. And the costumes were, I think, trying to invoke the feeling of the flower child era with an updated feel. In the end, I kept thinking it looked like JCS meets Mad Max and Beth called it Jesus Christ Burning Man. Which is decidedly singable, actually.

The next batch of costuming that caught our eye was Caiaphas and his gang. They are mean guys so they look like they belong in the Matrix with long, black, plastic-looking coats and interesting hairdos. 

Don't even get me started on Pontius Pilate and his purple pleather. He's an alliteration gone bad.

Our final comment on costuming were the lepers. Beth dubbed them "Lepers by Hot Topic".

About an hour out from the end, past Blogguest Linda texted me, asking if I was watching. This was a blessing in disguise because she was able to clarify some plot points for us. Plus, we could commiserate on feeling like Jesus was being portrayed as really whiny and a bit douchey, quite frankly. There was one odd bit in the middle where Mary Magdalene was bringing all the disciples white scarves. We asked Linda what the significance of the scarves were, but she could only offer that perhaps they were on sale?

Please note that I've refrained from discussing the acting but I can remain silent no longer! John Legend is lovely to look at and I really like that one song about his wife, Chrissy Teigen (who is amazing - check out her Twitter posts) but I'm not going to give it to him as an actor. After Jesus had been whipped by the crowds I turned to Beth and mentioned that he had the same facial expression as he did at the beginning of the show. Also, much of his "acting" was breathing in a staccato rhythm and hunching over.

But most disappointing? Alice Cooper. As King Herod, he only had one song and the most we could say about it was Linda texting "Check out Alice's shoes!" Yup.

(My drink pairing for this production and any dead-rise-from-the-grave party is the aptly named Zombie cocktail.)

My takeaways:

#1 - I named this post Small Booze because I did an adult Easter egg hunt and that's what I was calling the airplane-sized bottles of hooch.  

#2 - Even though I am constantly disappointed by NBC's live shows I will continue to give them a chance. That must be true love, right?

#3 - As far as rock operas go, give me Tommy any day of the week.

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

Truth is stranger than fiction

Generally, I'm not a big fan of reality shows. You know I love the Voice (it's my guilty pleasure) but others, particularly shows about families, leave me a bit cold.

Oddly, in the past couple of weeks I've devoured two reality TV shows and one film but to be fair, I couldn't tell if a couple of them were "MOCKumentaries" or not. They weren't and I love a theme, so here goes.

I think I'm going to present from most normal to most bizarre:

Queer Eye - Netflix original, released 2018

I loved the original Queer Eye back in the day. I mean, who wouldn't want a bunch of fabulous men coming in and sprucing everything up? 

I love this new take on the series as well. Naturally it's the same set up and I think the Fab Five are equally as awesome as the original group. In the first episode they say "The original show was fighting for tolerance. Our fight is for acceptance." This hit me in the feels and I thought "yay them!"   I know that all these types of shows and films are baby steps, but even baby steps move that kid forward, right? 

They set this season in Georgia, which unsurprisingly triggers issues for some of the Fab Five as well as the men they make over.  I appreciate that the show isn't shying away from talking about the triggers. Also, they made over a gay man which I thought was great. I mean, anyone can have an outdated look and this felt like the show was trying to advocate inclusion.

Lastly, I like that these guys don't seem to be imposing their own personal style on the men they are making over. They are taking elements from the guy's normal life and updating. One always hopes that many of the "upgrades" will stick, although my guess is the first thing to go will be the beard or face moisturizers. Sorry Grooming Guru (and Gay of Thrones genius) Jonathan.

(Drink pairing: while there are a million fabulous cocktails to go with this, I think I'd choose a Mint Julep because The South.)

Cutie-pies!

Baby Ballroom - Channel 5Star original, released in 2017

Between this entry and the next I'm really not sure which is more bizarre but I'm committing to this order in the rankings, dammit!

This show is about a British ballroom dancing couple, Warren and Jane Bullock,  who own a dance studio called Zig Zag Dance Factory in Wolverhampton, UK located in the West Midlands near Birmingham (that's a mouthful!). They have 17-year-old triplet daughters, India, Savannah and Alicia. Two are following in their parents dance steps and one wants to be a scientist. She proves this by wearing a dress with a planet/star pattern. Point taken, Savannah.

Warren claims they have produced the most winning ballroom couples of all schools in the UK - that he knows about. So there's that. We follow 4 main couples and a few ancillary ones on their ballroom journey. The thing is, they are all children. The eldest couple is still in the "Under 16s" category. Did you even know there was an "Under 16s" category? I didn't. Also, there is a Girls Only category because there aren't enough boys to go around. Sigh. In addition to the Under 16 couple, we follow an 11/12 year old couple and  a pair of couples that are about 8 - 9 years old. 

This show is like some nutty mashup of Strictly Ballroom and Kids Say the Darnedest Things. It's fucking WEIRD. I. Love. It.

I was worried that all the parents were going to be the British version of Dance Moms, which would mean I'd hate them all (One girl's mother actually recruited a boy from Romania and houses him. He's good so they win.), but many of them just look frazzled by the fact that they are working full time jobs and all their money goes to their children's "careers" thing to win ballroom dance competitions.  So, not surprisingly, we see some seriously competitive children. With adorable accents.

My favorite couple are Jack and Emily - 8 and 9 years old respectively. They are cute as buttons and in one interview Jack lists the things you need to win, one being "having a great dance partner". Emily blushes and Jack grabs her hand. They are SO STINKIN ADORABLE.

This show is all about dancing, glitter, bronzer, hairspray and attitude. What's not to love?

(My drink pairing for this is a Shirley Temple. C'mon! They're kids!!)

They are all ridiculously cute, right?

Chicken People - released in 2016

Many years ago (maybe around 2009ish?) I was trying to find my usual go-to Tintin calendar and discovered they weren't available. Distraught (yes, I was!), I searched for something else and came across the Extraordinary Chicken calendar. I found it hilarious and started posting the monthly photos on Facebook with whatever weird caption I thought worked. Since then, I have gotten the reputation of being a chicken fan. I mean, I do like them and some are absolutely majestic, it's just not a reputation I ever anticipated having. Two of my friends suggested I see this film.

This movie. OMFG. Right up until I looked it up on the Interwebz I thought it was a satire. It's often been compared to Best In Show and that's 100% accurate. It follows three chicken breeders who are gearing up to compete in the Ohio National Poultry Show. There are also some wonderful vignettes with other chicken enthusiasts reminiscent of the love story interviews in When Harry Met Sally.

The filmmaker lovingly delves into the psyches of the three main competitors - revealing deep seated reasons for their obsession, whether it's battling addiction or feeling less like an outcast. It's oddly moving, considering there are also scenes where their chicken contestant takes a shit before being shown so much cleaning needs to be done (often including the blow drying of hindquarters).

I think it's been compared to Best in Show because, while Christopher Guest is clearly poking fun at dog shows, he does it with respect and love. As does this film.

(My drink pairing for this film is to take a peek at this website, Drinking with Chickens. Kate is someone I'd love to have a drink with!!)

These chicken loving twins reminded me of the awful girls in the Shining.

My takeaways:

#1 - I guess I'm cool with reality TV if it's a bit fantastical.

#2 - I've always toyed with the idea of taking ballroom dancing classes - when I was belly dancing we rehearsed a few times at a ballroom studio. We became accustomed to the teacher droning "quick, quick, sloooow" while couples shuffled about.

#3 - A surprising amount of folks on Chicken People were fine with eating their own chickens. That was slightly horrifying to me.

xoxox....hashtagSueslife

Panthers and Lions, oh my.

Last weekend I saw Black Panther. So so good. The acting was great, the costumes were amazing, the sets were beautiful, the music sublime. And the message. Such an important film to come out in this political and social environment. I love that a Marvel film is highlighting and addressing issues that need exposure. Granted director Ryan Coogler is also responsible for Fruitvale Station but I still think that speaks volumes.

Honestly, though, I'm not here to delve into controversial subjects. I have my own thoughts and feelings on these subjects and am happy to discuss but it's up to everyone to follow their own ideology.

What I do want to talk about, however, is how Black Panther reminded me of The Lion King. And oddly, when I got home from seeing BP (albeit it was a slightly boozy viewing but you all expect nothing less from me, yes?) The Lion King was on TV. Serendipity. What was less serendipitous was it being followed by The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride. But we'll get to that.

Meeee-ow!!

Simba is SO serious.

I was an adult when The Lion King was released but just like Simba, who couldn't wait to be king, I couldn't wait to see this movie! My boyfriend at the time and I had had a huge fight the morning it was released so as a "sorry I was a dick" gesture, he took me to see it that evening. This was a simpler time when you could decide that day to see a movie on opening night and you'd get in. Glory days. And even though I didn't see Black Panther the day it was released, I went to a theatre with a bar so that's a win in my book.

So here are my thoughts...

Compare and Contrast: The Lion King and Black Panther

Compare:

• I noticed that BP's art direction leaned toward warm colors (unlike many Marvel films), exemplified by the gorgeous landscapes of Wakanda. I loved it and it was the first thing that reminded me of LK. That opening shot with baby Simba. Warm colors, beautiful African landscape.
• Both Simba and T'Challa's fathers shape their paths. (To be clear, this was also a story point (cats and their dads!) years before in Kimba, the White Lion, a cartoon that came on before Speed Racer. I LOVED this show when I was little)
• Uncles play a big role.
• It's probably insulting to say that the gorgeous Black Panther soundtrack reminded me of the Lion King's music, but it did. I never claimed to be highbrow, people

Simba and Kimba in a weird "fan fic" moment

Contrast:

• While Simba's uncle was just a straight up bad guy, T'Challa's uncle had more nuance. He did some bad shit but he felt it was for the greater good. Plus - Sterling K Brown and tears. Kills me every time.
• NO ONE in The Lion King lives in Oakland, CA.
• The Lion King's depiction of females can't hold a candle to the magnificent women in Black Panther. The Wakanda warrior women KICK ASS.
• There was not one character in Black Panther that I could compare to Pumbaa or Timon. And really, when Timon dances the hula to distract the hyenas, it's a piece of cinematic brilliance.

Then there was The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride. 

If you haven't seen it, I'm just gonna say that I wouldn't be spouting about how proud I was if I were SImba.

(My drink pairing for Black Panther is a Moscow Mule at the Alamo Drafthouse bar, The Bull and the Bear (you should really have two). I don't know what magic they do to these drinks (something about the ginger) but they are the best I've ever had.)

My takeaways:

1. No matter where you go, it's good to be the king.  (Two of my favorite movie quotes mashed up. Can you identify them both?)

2. Is it clear that I really loved Black Panther? I can't wait for a sequel.

3. Apparently, I love a good father/son story.

xoxox...hashtagSueslife

Shit I binge-watched 2017 edition

Hey gang!

For the last two and a half months I have been blissfully "retired". 

I'm back at work now and once I got over my Couch Inertia I realized I'm really happy to be back at my contract gig. The team I work with is great and while it's easy to sink into those luxurious red couch cushions and snuggle under a blanket of cats, I really do enjoy connecting with actual humans. 

So here is my "What I did on my summer vacation (in Winter)" essay.

I did a smattering of travel and a smattering of binge watching TV shows, not dissimilar to what I did last time I was "retired". It was glorious. Here are some bullet points illustrating what the fuck I was doing.

Travel:

• I did a quick weekend in LA with my friend Jen. We were down there because an animated short that she produced (Coin Operated. Find it. Watch it, it's great!) was at a film festival in Hollywood. It played in front of Mary and the Witch's Flower, a full length animated film directed by a former animator from Studio Ghibli. It was beautiful but a bit slow for my taste. I got to see my wonderful family and Jen and I were tourists for a day, going to Griffith Observatory and shopping in Venice. My favorite moment of our tourist day is when we wandered into a consignment clothing store. We were      hauling our suitcases around and the store clerks happily grabbed them from us while we are shopping. They even remarked on how "professional" we were. I had no idea what that meant until I heard them mention something about a curling iron. We looked to find them riffling through our bags. Initially horrified, we realized they thought we were bringing suitcases full of clothes to sell to them! Um, NO!! We want to keep all our clothes, thank you very much.

Hollywood sign from Griffin Observatory. I promise it's there.

• A week later I spent a long weekend in New Orleans. It was a wonderful music, food and booze filled four days with a group of friends. We did a quick side trip to the Whitney Plantation Museum. If you are ever in NOLA, I highly suggest visiting this museum. Out of the couple thousand museums in the USA, this is the only one devoted to depicting the lives of slaves. I'm not saying this is an easy thing to see but I can assure you the experience will leave you more enlightened than when you walked in. (Warning: There are several doll-like statues of children scattered about that (obviously) disturbed me for a different reason)
• I was home for 48 hours then I was off to Boston to visit my aunt and cousins. This is one of my favorite things to do and this year's trip was no different. My cousin Cynthia and I also snuck off to Salem for a day. I thought I was being an awesome trip planner but the website I bought tickets through (including a hop on/hop off bus and 3 museums) wasn't clear (yes, I'm blaming the tool. Shush.) and we ended up needing to "Greek" at them to resolve things. We charmingly complained that we didn't get what we thought we were getting and ended up not only getting our money back but also getting into two museums for free. Being effusive Greek women can have its perks. The Salem Witch Museum has a bunch of animatronic people depicting the hysteria of the witch trials (this creepy doll thing apparently was a theme in November), so again, beware.

Bewitched in Salem.

• I rounded off the year by visiting Florida for New Year. I had to catch a shuttle to where I was staying and it was nearly as entertaining as my day at Harry Potter World (okay, that is a slight exaggeration - HPW was awesome! Well, except for the "Barfy Ride" in which I got a face full of steam and heat when the Dragon spewed fire at me.). Not only did I chat with a man from Deadwood (!) on the shuttle who has ELEVEN siblings (!!) but then an old lady and I got stranded at a motel waiting for the shuttle for the second leg of our trip to show up. We watched at least three episodes of Golden Girls in the motel lobby and when we finally got picked up, she was pissed. I gave her a KIND bar which mellowed her out, prompting her to tell me all about how she helps rescue cats in her community and adopted a 13 year old Siamese named Mr. Handsome.

In the bad part of town at Harry Potter World.

Binge Watching:

• Dark. This is the first Netflix original made in the German language. It’s about a seriously fucked up small town in Germany that houses a nuclear plant. This plant may or may not contribute to a time conundrum - creating portals to 3 different time periods 30 years apart. It's all sorts of weird and good and you seriously need a map to keep track of who's who. My favorite part is how it shows the same characters in the different time dimensions. Pro-tip: watch it with subtitles. The voice over acting is pretty bad.  (Drink pairing: a good, wheaty Hefeweisen)
• Drop Dead Diva. This is a 5 season series that originally ran on Lifetime. Netflix kept "suggesting" it to me but I admit I was skeptical about starting it. I had a feeling I was going to end up being really angry about a show whose premise is a skinny, shallow girl dies at the same time as an overweight lawyer and Skinny ends up in Plus Size because of a computer error at the Pearly Gates. Imagine my surprise when I discovered I liked it! The actress, Brooke Elliot, who plays Plus Size (not her character's name) is really good. There are also fantasy elements within the show (much like My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) which includes her singing. It's good fun.  (Drink pairing: Pomegranate martini!)
• The Alienist. Okay, to be fair I didn't really binge this because it's only aired two episodes (it's on TNT). I remember loving this book so I was excited to watch this show. I'm gonna say it right now - I'm not a fan. The sets are cool and you really get the feel of how gritty NYC was in the late 1800s.  It's the acting that let me down. The actor who plays the Alienist, Daniel Bruhl, delivers all his lines in a kind of urgent whisper that immediately bugged me. His sidekick is an over-sexed newspaper illustrator played by Luke Evans. I can't get beyond him playing Gaston in the live action Beauty and the Beast, so there's that. And finally, the female lead is played by Dakota Fanning. Her delivery is so stilted and wooden that I kept imagining her script pages were taped to the actor she's playing off of so she can just read them. She was so great when she was 7 years old in I Am Sam. What happened?  (Drink pairing: whatever makes you pass out because DAMMIT this show is annoying)

My takeaways:

#1 - I haven't seen La La Land yet and after being at Griffith Observatory I feel like I really need to.

#2 – I honestly am happy to be working again but I can tell this is going to severely cut into my TV bingeing.

#3 –  I don’t think my cats miss me nearly as much as I miss them.

xoxo…hashtagSueslife

        

The Greatest Showman

In 1998 I ran away and joined the circus.

Okay, that is a total lie, but in 1998 I went to Burning Man (my one and only year) and performed with a circus. I'd like to say that I remember everything about my Burning Man weekend with startling clarity but that would also be a lie.

Here is some truth. Burning Man, while quite an experience, was really not for me. That's not to say that it didn't stay with me. I dreamt about the playa for ages after I got back. I found playa dust in my belly dance stuff for ages after I got back. But I learned a valuable lesson - I'm not into extreme camping. Give me a vacation destination that has running water, please.

Home, sweet not waterproof home

While I discovered I wasn't a "burner",  I also have many oddly fond memories from that time (how accurate they all are remains a mystery).

I didn't lie about performing with a circus when I was there. Four members of the belly dance troupe I was in went that year. I was woefully unprepared for this type of camping; thankfully a friend of our troupe came with enough supplies to take care of those of us who didn't know what to expect. I brought plenty of costuming, though, and every day we geared up and roamed the playa for performance opportunities. 

Roaming band of belly dancers

One afternoon we came across the Bindlestiff Family Cirkus. They were colorful and edgy and fun - much like we imagined ourselves to be. They graciously let us open for them, then we got to watch their crazy show. I basically only remember an insane contortionist (I honestly can't imagine what his body feels like now) and the gorgeous ringleader who hammered a nail into her nostril. Into. Her. Nostril. Whoa.

This was also the legendary year where a huge dust storm hit followed immediately by a massive rainstorm, creating a concrete-type mud that collected on our insufficient dance shoes, basically building platform shoes until one broke apart and we'd have to scrape the other one down. 

I have two favorite memories from that event. 

1. One evening, after possibly ingesting a mind-altering substance, my partner in crime, Beth, and I seemingly walked back and forth to the port-a-potties a thousand times (at least it felt that way to me). On one of our trips we ran into a group of guys who chanted some weird hymn-like song to us. I can't even imagine what our faces looked like as we listened to this truly bizarre chorus. For some reason I always equate them to the creepy preacher in Poltergeist.

2. For the burn, our dear friend Michael dressed in gorgeous drag and we all walked around prior to the big event. A guy came up to him (I recall that this guy was dressed in something flowy...I think like a sheik but I'm sure I'm remembering this wrong), enchanted by his awesomeness and said, "You look beautiful."  Michael, not missing a beat, replied, "You look like I need another drink." Beth and I have been quoting that ever since. 

The guy wasn't wrong. He looked beautiful.

   

Beth and me at the burn.

(blog intercepted by a message from Finn)                                                                                       _A>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<L))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

(okay, I've taken back control)

Why am I telling you guys about my moment performing with a circus? Because right before New Year I saw a movie about a circus.

The Greatest Showman - released in 2017

I liked this movie a lot. I know it's gotten mixed reviews but I'm a fan. I saw this at a matinee where my friend David predicted it would be only us and 4 other gay men. In fact, there were a few more folks than that but it was still blissfully empty.

When I first saw the trailer for this I thought it might be a Moulin Rouge knockoff and I wasn't entirely wrong. I love love love Moulin Rouge and Baz Luhrmann (see my past post) so I was skeptical about this film. But I got in there and loved it. 

I believe the director, Michael Gracey, has only done commercials prior to this film. I think he did a great job considering the scope of the project. While there is nothing I don't love about the way Moulin Rouge is filmed and edited, I appreciated that this film had some longer, less chaotic cuts, enabling us to enjoy the dance numbers (there was some great dancing!). 

I also felt like Hugh Jackman was able to shine, musically, in this film. This music suited him, unlike Les Miserables (the also might be because they made the ill advised decision on Les Miz to do live recording of the singing. Not the best decision.) Justin Paul and Benj Pasek wrote the music. They were relative unknowns when they started working on this film but prior to this being released they won an Oscar for La La Land and a Tony for Dear Even Hansen. Well done, them!

The real treat for me was discovering Keala Settle, who played the Bearded Lady. Her voice is nothing short of incredible and her song, This is Me, resonates in our current climate. Watch this table read (sing?) for a glimpse of the power of this song. 

In fact, even though I know this is a HIGHLY fictionalized version of P.T. Barnum's life, I'm glad they made this film that celebrates accepting diversity. We need this message right now in every single way we can get it.

(My drink pairing for this film is a Circus Freak - basically rum, Malibu rum and vanilla coke. Enjoy!)

My takeaways:

#1 - I continually get confirmation that I am a sucker for a fun musical.

#2 - I really did learn my lesson about me being a camper after Burning Man. Haven't been since.

#3 - Always be proud of who and what you are. You are all beautiful to me.

Happy New Year!

xoxo....hashtagSueslife