Hollywood takes on Broadway

Hi gang!

I happened upon this post in my favorite way...I was flipping through channels and found my first entry, which led me to my second.   And it's musicals, which I love!  In fact, when I was in college, I wrote a paper about the structure of the musical film...I think I even got an A.  

Taking a Broadway show and shoving it into the film format is a daunting task, I would imagine.  Here we examine how successful some of the newer endeavors are.

Hope you enjoy!

Annie - released in 2014

I accidentally watched about 10 minutes of this the other day and was not planning on watching more but then my coworker David suggested I write about it.  I imagine this is because I was nonstop complaining about it for a good 20 minutes of our lunch break and he likely just didn't want to hear it.

As most of you know, I'm a big fan of musicals.  I really wanted to like it.  The Annie of this film, Quvenzhane Wallis (henceforth known as Q) was nominated for an Academy Award for her first film and is cute as a bug in a rug.  I had high hopes.  They were quickly and cruelly dashed, though.  I think this film got panned in the reviews and it's no wonder.

Where do I even start?  I was unsure if Q did her own singing, but after I googled, it appears she does.  She's....okay.  She can carry a tune and all, but it's nothing to write home about.  And she doesn't hold a candle to the atrocity that is Cameron Diaz.  SHE. IS. AWFUL.  I wish I could say it's just her singing, but Cameron overacts so hard in this film I think she might have pulled something.  Jaime Foxx plays the new version of Daddy Warbucks (his name in the film is Stacks...not sure why they felt the need to rename the character).  Foxx isn't a bad singer but nothing about the arrangements of these songs (especially the new ones) were either inspiring or...well...melodic, quite frankly.  There was one song where Foxx and Cameron started in a duet, then Q joined them. During the duet, I thought I might poke out my own eardrums.  And Cosmo's too, so he wouldn't have to suffer.  When Q joined them, the mix was so terrible I could barely tell who was singing.  

The director is a guy named Will Gluck.  I've seen his film Easy A and liked it quite a bit.  This one...not so much.

They also tried to drag this story into the new millennium and it went kicking and screaming.  They made the former orphans into foster kids and Daddy Stacks is the CEO of a cell phone company.

Do I even tell you guys about the dancing?  Let's just call it "body shifting" because it was like some sort of free style extravaganza at the School for the Dance Challenged.  There were a few of the "foster kids" (formerly orphans) that are probably Broadway kids so they were good, but not one of the main characters had a right AND a left foot. 

And Rose Byrne.  Why did you agree to do this film?  I'm not sure I can unsee and unhear what you did.  Before this, I loved you.  Now I feel like our relationship is sullied.

It's a hard knock life, indeed.

(My drink pairing for this is the politically correctly named Little Orphan Annie.  Vodka mixed into a Shirley Temple.  Curly hair girls unite! Or untie.  Depending.)

Into the Woods - released in 2014

It was suggested that I pair Annie with Q's debut film, but I've been really curious about seeing Into the Woods, so that's what I did.

I haven't seen much Sondheim in the past (Assassins at a local theatre company and Sweeney Todd in the theater and on film) and I'm coming to the conclusion that he's not my favorite composer/lyricist.  I read that Oscar Hammerstein was his mentor which would lead me to believe I'd love him, but he has his own distinct style, which I respect;  it's just not really MY style.  He certainly doesn't shy away from a dark theme, though, which is kind of great.  In Into the Woods, Cinderella's ugly stepsisters get parts of their feet cut off to fit in the slipper, a main character dies, and there's this weird Obi Wan moment between the Baker and his dad.  Good stuff!!  The thing about his music, though, is none of it ever stays with me, no tune sticks in my head.  Much of the music in this one actually reminded me of some Beatnik, spoken word poetry shit - "we ARE goING intothewoods!" (think: So I Married an Axe Murderer..ooh, I should revue that!)

So the film version of Into the Woods stars Meryl Streep as the Witch. Apparently Meryl enjoys supplementing her well deserved Oscar winning roles with musicals.  I'm glad Meryl has the Hollywood clout to do any project she wants, honest I am, I just kind of wish she had a bit more self awareness about her singing abilities.  She's not terrible, mind you.  It just ain't no Meryl "accent".  That's the stuff of brilliance.  I'd say her singing is mediocre at best.  This type of music seems to suit her voice FAR MORE than Mamma Mia, however (and come on...next to Pierce Brosnan Meryl could have croaked like a frog and everyone would have cried "Brava!").  And acting-wise, she's aces.  Also, she goes from old and haggard to young(er) and beautiful.  I swear her "young" hairstyle looks like it's modeled after Wynona Judd's hair.  It's kind of awesome. And blue.

 I was seriously worried about the cast being up to this task and was pleasantly surprised.  Emily Blunt was great (I was hoping she'd be...I kind of love her) as was Anna Kendrick (we know she can sing, so no surprise there).  What up with Anna Kendrick's Resting Bitch Face, though?  Get an expression, Anna!  I'm sure you'd be a lovely girl if you just smiled!

Chris Pine plays Prince Charming (his best line:  I was raised to be charming, not sincere) is adorable and appears to approach his role as if he were William Shatner performing it (maybe it's how he really wants to act when he's playing James T Kirk?).  I give him huge props for his performance, prancing around and wearing a lot of makeup.  Brave.

There are two kids in it.  Both are as precocious as fuck.  The boy is a total little urchin; I'm sure he's performed the Gavrosh role in Les Miz more than once. You can just tell by his over-pronunciated Cockney accent and bowl cut hairdo.

Johnny Depp plays the Big Bad Wolf in a child molester-y manner, so that's kind of gross and Tracey Ullman as Gavrosh's mom kicks ass as usual.

Rob Marshall directed this.  He directed Chicago and before that was a choreographer on Broadway (plus choreographing Victor/Victoria!) so he knows what he's doing.  I give him full marks for not trying some experimental bullshit (Annie).  He staged this almost like it was a play.  Kudos!   If you're gonna make regular actors sing, let's not muddy the situation even more by changing the time period or sets (again, looking at you, Annie)

Honestly, for the most part I enjoyed this film.  It's a bit over 2 hours, so it was loooonnnng, but it was fun and well-performaed.

(My drink pairing for this film is a Dark 'n Stormy.  Aptly named and yum!)

My takeaways:

#1 - Sometimes one film adaptation of a Broadway musical is enough.  Why does Hollywood continually mess with something that already works?

#2 - Actors who are either mediocre singers or can not sing at all:  Please stop accepting roles in musicals!!  There are SO many actors out there who really can sing (Idina Menzel, Joseph Gordon-Levitt,  Kristin Chenoweth, Ewan McGregor (!)...even Gwyneth Paltrow, for crying out loud)..just let them have the roles.

#3 - Please notice I didn't even go there with Les Miserables.  I just can't even.

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

Poldark: The Truth about Abs

Hey gang!

This is a bit of a change to my typical format but I was inspired to write about this TV series I just finished watching.  So not only is it television but I also didn't pair up any elements.  This is a stand alone type deal. 

Also, it's maybe a bit snarkier than usual.  Hope you enjoy! 

Poldark - 2015 TV series

Beth and I made the great sacrifice for women and Masterpiece Theatre lovers everywhere and watched the whole of Poldark's Season One (8 episodes).  I feel like this post needs a tagline. "Come for the abs, stay for the smile".

Aiden Turner and his marvelous abs play Ross Poldark.  He is truly beautiful.  I mean, there are the obvious muscles, but (even though this is a melodrama so there isn't much that's happy) there were moments when he'd throw a little smirk or sweet smile out that stopped us in our tracks.  When he told his wife he loved her, we both clutched our chests and sighed.  No lie.  He was a theatre guy for a long time, apparently, but in '08 made the leap to films.  Most notably he's been in all the Hobbit films.  I confess to not having seen the Hobbit films, so I can't speak to that, but he has completely won me over in this series.

I'm pretty sure there are other cast members, although it's kind of hard to remember much beyond Poldark's ridiculous hotness.  One that stands out is a guy I keep seeing in other BBC/Masterpiece Theatre stuff.  His name is Philip Davis and I recognized him from a Sherlock episode (the Bartelby Crumblepatch version) in which he plays an evil cabbie.  In this series, he's a terrible servant.  By terrible I mean that he's useless, he doesn't do shit.  Plus he has black teeth.  Black.  So gross.

I would love nothing more than to tell you all that I've been riveted by this nuanced and poignant melodrama.  But, in fact, I wasn't.  It's a bit meandering and bit dull, truth be told.  In fact, I remarked after the first few episodes that we wouldn't still be watching this if it weren't for the promise of more abs.  Disappointingly, they did not deliver.  What?  WHAT??  C'mon Masterpiece Theatre!!  You didn't put Aiden Turner in there with that glorious chest to have it covered in a shirt, vest and two fucking coats all the time, did you?? Because if that is the case, I believe you do not know your audience AT ALL.  I bet if we took a poll, very few people would say they are watching this series for the fascinating peek into the lives of Cornish miners.  I mean, we haven't even seen a mining accident.  And the expected love triangle isn't really there because Poldark loves his wifezzzzzzzzzzzzz...oh, sorry did I doze off?

And while I'm on topics like plot, lets discuss the directing.  There are two directors of this series and one, according to IMDB, is "known for his strong use of landscape and often gothic themes."  Well, "strong use of landscape" is an understatement, and clearly the other director took this dude's lead.  I have seen so many shots of the breeze gently swaying thistles and long grass that I could probably become a fucking botanist.  Seriously.  It's not even some metaphoric thing to show the passage of time or anything.  Just grass blowing in the wind.  Or sometimes it'll be some super odd shot of a horse's hoof (still attached and all, just "artsy") or the wheel of a carriage.  Honestly some of them were baffling.  The most offensive was when Poldark FINALLY takes off his shirt and they immediately pan to a bonfire nearby. What. The. Hell.  I was so irritated I yelled "Fuck you, Fire!" at the television.  Perhaps not my finest moment.  It really wasn't the fire's fault.

These "artsy" shots combined with the lack of exciting things happening made each episode seem incredibly long.  At one point, we paused to fill up our champagne glasses (because a girl needs champagne when watching handsome men on TV, right?) and saw that only 13 minutes had passed. 13 minutes.  We thought surely we were near the end of the episode.  It was like we fell into some weird Poldark time warp where you feel like you've been watching for hours, yet you've barely entered the episode.  When we realized the last episode of the season was two hours we both groaned out loud.

I'm sure you are all thinking that I've been exceedingly critical of this series and am done with it, but I'm fully planning on watching Season Two (most likely with Beth and plenty of alcohol).  I think I can speak for Beth too when I say that we remain ever hopeful that the directors will realize their mistake and have the swaying-grass-to-bare-chest ratio swing in our favor.

(My drink pairing suggestion for this entire series is pink champagne  It highlights the good in the series and mellows the not-as-good)

My takeaways:

#1 - While the acting in the whole series is actually really good, I think my favorite character is Garrick the dog.

#2 -  Hot men on TV are like the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down.

#3 - I learned recently that these books were started in the late 40's, the author took a break then wrote the rest of the series in the mid 70's.  I thought for sure these were written in maybe the 1800's so I was kind of flabbergasted.  Also, why did he take a break?  Was he as bored with the lives of miners as I was?  Perhaps.  

xoxo...hashtagSueslife