RIP Roger Moore

I try to be the kind of person who honors a promise. Like most people, there are times I fail at this, but I do try. It occurs to me that writing something on social media becomes a public documentation of your promise. Yikes. So, on Facebook, I promised my brother Dennis I would write about Roger Moore. Here we go.

Roger Moore passed away this May, another in the inevitable progression of celebrity deaths. He was dearly loved in his role as James Bond. My very first post was about James Bond, in fact (those of you who have stuck with this goofy "blog" from the get-go may remember that). I watched one movie per Bond (not including David Niven or Daniel Craig...I keep meaning to do a post about the Casino Royale films specifically but now it's been 2 years and clearly I haven't done that yet) and revue'd. Below is a portion of what I wrote then:

Roger Moore

Octopussy - released in 1983

Double O

I chose Octopussy for my Roger Moore Bond installment for the sole reason that when I was in India I was in the city of Udaipur, where they filmed some of the exteriors.  My guide in Udaipur told me this and I've been wanting to see it ever since.

I'm going to come right out and say that I'm not a huge fan of Roger Moore's Bond.  He's so...quippy.  Like all the time.  I don't mind the occasional pun or goofy joke, but honestly there were points when I wanted to just slap him and say "James, take this shit seriously for Chrissake!!"  No wonder Q is always so annoyed with him.  I don't blame him. Plus he just looks so stuffy British.  Apparently Moore was voted "Best Bond" by the Academy so clearly I don't conform to popular opinion.  He had the longest Bond career at 12 years and was the oldest guy to take the role.

I write a lot about the plot, then this:

Anyway, there are a ton of chase scenes (mostly with a stunt double, I'd guess...we almost never see James' face and Roger Moore moves like an old man, quite honestly) and James finally sleeps with Octopussy, then he gets the bad guy.  There is one alarming moment when James is sliding down a banister that has a finial.  He realizes he's gonna hit it crotch-first so he shoots it off.  The alarming part is that it still looked jagged so I was worried about his nethers. James ends the film in a clown outfit to chase the bad guys so it all comes full circle.

(My pairing for this film is a nice, refreshing lassi.  Your choice of flavor.)

You might feel that I'm a bit harsh on Moore's Bond. He was 56 years old when this film was released so maybe my "moves like an old man" comments are unkind but I call it like I see it. 

I knew Moore was in the TV series The Saint (I was mistaken in thinking it was his first role...in actuality it probably was more like his first big break but he was in a bunch of TV series in the 60s) so I thought I'd watch that as a sample from his early career and something else from late in his career to see if my opinion of him changes at all.

I like to tell a story chronologically, so let's start with early career, shall we?

The Saint (1962 - 1969)

I feel like I've seen some Saint episodes in color (reruns) but for this I thought I'd watch the very first episode "The Talented Husband".  Totes black and white.

Roger Moore was always handsome and even as a 35 year old he had the air of a British prep school boy. His hair was pomaded within an inch of its life, but if it was flopping over his eyes he'd be the precursor to Hugh Grant. 

He is already honing his quippiness-as-an-acting-tool method which is exacerbated by the fact that the character breaks the fourth wall at the beginning of the episode and talks to the audience.

I liked this episode. It's completely over-acted by everyone. Moore is witty and charming and handsome. It's big plot surprise/reveal is completely not surprising. I chalk this up to maybe the innocence of the time. Or maybe it's better to call it the "jaded-ness" of my time. A thespian husband trying to kill his rich wife ever so politely in a picturesque British hamlet doesn't quite compare to weekly murders by serial killers on the gritty streets of New York City.

(My drink pairing for this episode is a dry vodka martini, 3 olives. Preferably ordered at a bar in the theatre district.)

I love this graphic.

Baby I can see your halo...you know you're my saving grace.

And now for the later career.

A Princess for Christmas (released in 2011)

This film is listed as Roger Moore's last film. I debated what to watch from later in his career. I really wanted to watch Ffolkes, because I remember liking it back in the day, but it wasn't on any of my streaming channels (irritating). My search was narrowed to this film, Boat Trip (he plays a gay man) or Cats & Dogs: Revenge of Kitty Galore (he voices a 007 type cat character).  Boat Trip and Cats & Dogs both got severely panned (honestly, many of Moore's films didn't do well by Rotten Tomatoes standards) so I chose Princess. This was a TV movie so I couldn't find it on any site like Rotten Tomatoes. Let me give you all a piece of advice. If you can't find it rated, be wary.

It's a Hallmark movie and believe me, I'm not saying that disparagingly. I spend every Thanksgiving in Boston staying with my dear cousin, Cynthia. We do all sorts of fun things - prepping for Thanksgiving, going to the Greek Christmas Ball, we even hit a museum last year. The best thing we do, however, my favorite part really - is the day after Thanksgiving. We curl up on the couches with doggies and blankets (bonus points if it snows) and watch HOURS of Hallmark Christmas movies. I don't mean a couple movies. I mean it becomes our day job. Her husband, Joe, comes and goes. The only reason we rise from the couch is if we have to pee, if the dogs have to pee or if we're hungry. It's perfect.

All that just to exemplify that I know my Hallmark movies. Sure, they are horrifyingly formulaic but mostly they are fun. And I really hate to say it but this one was total crap. The heroine is a woman from Buffalo played by an Irish actress. She always sounds stilted, probably because she can't get the accent right. The children in it are kind of assholes that never quite redeem themselves. The hero is played by the guy who plays Jaime Fraser on Outlander. Normally HOT HOT HOT. In this...meh (I sent a photo of him to Beth while I was watching remarking that he looks better with his longer, unkempt Jaime hair. In this he's clean-cut and looks about 10 years old). Also, they have ZERO chemistry. They each looked like they were kissing a board. With splinters. 

Roger Moore plays a Duke. He's too old, quite frankly, to be quippy in this. He has all the stateliness of a Royal so I guess you could say he was the one redeeming part of this film. Which, sadly, wasn't enough to actually redeem this film.

(My drink pairing for this movie is a gin & tonic. Apparently, this is a favorite of Royals in general.)

My takeaways:

#1 - Even though I feel like a shithead saying I'm not a big Roger Moore fan, I don't feel that I should sugarcoat things on my "blog". Right?

#2 - Roger Moore started his career as a model. He did so many ads for knitwear that he earned the nickname "The Big Knit". I'd like to have a chat about creativity with whoever gave him that nickname.

#3 - Moore was married 3 times - twice to woman older than he. Nice going, ladies!!

xoxo...hashtagSueslife

The Keepers

**Warning: Spoilers below. Read at your own risk.  :)

I just finished watching the true crime HBO documentary series The Keepers last night.  My reaction was "Huh". Do you know which "Huh" I mean? It's the one where you look at a piece of art in a museum and think "I don't really like that piece. Wait, something is intriguing, maybe I do. Hmm, can't tell."  Huh.

I'm a fan of this type of series. I loved The Jinx about Robert Durst (I now have the added amazement that an old friend of my brother was a secret witness recently. I had no idea there was any connection. Also, to exemplify how poorly we take care of our witnesses, he was highly guarded before and during his testimony, then immediately afterward was sent off - all alone- with basically a "thanks for playing, good luck out there") Robert Durst was fucked up from the get go - from  when his father called him outside to watch his mother on the roof of their house threatening to jump, all the way to the end where he talked to himself SO much he basically confessed in a bathroom, not realizing his mic was still live.

I also really enjoyed Making a Murderer. We ponder the case of Stephen Avery in this one. Is he innocent? Is he guilty? Is he both? The answer remains controversial, which is a frustrating ending to any series but I still felt that the filmic journey worth it. Things don't always wind up neat and tidy, no matter how many TV crime shows we watch. And that's okay.

Now let's get to The Keepers. 

We loosely follow two women who went to Archbishop Keough Catholic High School in Baltimore. Their favorite teacher, Sister Cathy was murdered in the late 60s and it's never been solved. Around the same time, another young girl (not a nun) was also murdered in a similar fashion. Also unsolved. Then in the 90s, one of their classmates recovered memories and a whole scandal comes out about how a priest at the school (horrifyingly, he was in a guidance counselor position) was abusing many, many girls over many years. These elements are a great recipe for a juicy true crime series.

The women we follow, Abbie and Gemma, are adorably sassy women who were always troubled by the murder and wanted to dig deeper into what happened. In an almost Jessica Fletcher-type burst of investigative prowess, they dig deep, do a ton of research and try their hardest to find a link from the murder of Sister Cathy to the abuse. Did she know? Was she going to expose what was going on? Is that why she died?

This is a really plausible explanation. The problem is that there is very little (and I mean VERY little) evidence supporting anything. Not to mention the other similar murder in which the victim has no real ties to the school or the scandal. Evidence was "lost" (which the show implies could be sinister but I think also could be shoddy police work + 50 years ago filing systems) and - let's face it, we're talking about the Church in a highly religious town - some shit is buried deep and our girls won't ever get to it.

Many of the suspects or folks that had insight are dead. Abbie and Gemma bust their asses to find Sister Cathy's younger sister, suspects that were still alive, etc. They kicked serious Jessica Fletcher ass.

My issue, my "Huh", I think is with the filmmakers.

They are tackling two massive issues. There is the murder of two young women at approximately the same time. There is a Catholic priest abusing children over the course of his entire career. I believe their intent was to show the possible links between these two issues, but what I was left with was neither story getting it's full due. Plus, there seems to be some holes that I felt should have been explored:

• Did anyone ever look into a possible serial killer in the area? Did they look in surrounding cities for murders with similar M.O. to see if the person had moved on? 
• Why did they leave the interview with an abused kid from another school the abuser priest worked at to the LAST EPISODE? I didn't feel introducing something like that at the end is good storytelling. I was like "now who the fuck is THIS?"
• Additionally, there was plenty of footage about Sister Cathy's best friend/probably boyfriend. We find out - also late in the series - that they seriously looked at him as a suspect AND there was a letter to him from Sister Cathy where she tells him she loves him and kind of implies that they had had sex and maybe was worried that she was pregnant. The filmmakers always implied he might have known more than he said, yet he showed up in a spotty manner throughout the episodes.

Needless to say, I was a bit frustrated by the end.

There was no moment that I didn't fully believe the abuse had happened (goes to show you my thoughts on priests in the Catholic church) so what I wanted more of - or something more concrete - was evidence of a conspiracy. Because honestly the abuse is story enough.

Sometimes a cigar is a cigar and sometimes a murder isn't connected to the abuse scandal, no matter how hard you try to prove it. And in the end, that's okay. I just felt the filmmakers could have presented a more elegant method of getting to this conclusion.

Perhaps their intent was to leave their audience with far more questions than they walked in with (like The Making of a Murderer, or Serial for that matter). I just didn't find it satisfying, yet it's stuck with me enough to want to write about it.  Huh.

(My drink pairing for this entire series was Ginger and Turmeric tea with lemon.  I have a cold.)

My takeaways:

#1 - Maybe I've watched too many TV crime series and fancy myself an investigator.

#2 - Beth mentioned to me that she could totally see us being an Abbie/Gemma investigative team - so if you have any mysteries you want solved, let us know.

#3 - No matter how grumpy I sound about this series I still was all in while watching it.

xoxo....hashtagSueslife