RIP Roger Moore

I try to be the kind of person who honors a promise. Like most people, there are times I fail at this, but I do try. It occurs to me that writing something on social media becomes a public documentation of your promise. Yikes. So, on Facebook, I promised my brother Dennis I would write about Roger Moore. Here we go.

Roger Moore passed away this May, another in the inevitable progression of celebrity deaths. He was dearly loved in his role as James Bond. My very first post was about James Bond, in fact (those of you who have stuck with this goofy "blog" from the get-go may remember that). I watched one movie per Bond (not including David Niven or Daniel Craig...I keep meaning to do a post about the Casino Royale films specifically but now it's been 2 years and clearly I haven't done that yet) and revue'd. Below is a portion of what I wrote then:

Roger Moore

Octopussy - released in 1983

Double O

I chose Octopussy for my Roger Moore Bond installment for the sole reason that when I was in India I was in the city of Udaipur, where they filmed some of the exteriors.  My guide in Udaipur told me this and I've been wanting to see it ever since.

I'm going to come right out and say that I'm not a huge fan of Roger Moore's Bond.  He's so...quippy.  Like all the time.  I don't mind the occasional pun or goofy joke, but honestly there were points when I wanted to just slap him and say "James, take this shit seriously for Chrissake!!"  No wonder Q is always so annoyed with him.  I don't blame him. Plus he just looks so stuffy British.  Apparently Moore was voted "Best Bond" by the Academy so clearly I don't conform to popular opinion.  He had the longest Bond career at 12 years and was the oldest guy to take the role.

I write a lot about the plot, then this:

Anyway, there are a ton of chase scenes (mostly with a stunt double, I'd guess...we almost never see James' face and Roger Moore moves like an old man, quite honestly) and James finally sleeps with Octopussy, then he gets the bad guy.  There is one alarming moment when James is sliding down a banister that has a finial.  He realizes he's gonna hit it crotch-first so he shoots it off.  The alarming part is that it still looked jagged so I was worried about his nethers. James ends the film in a clown outfit to chase the bad guys so it all comes full circle.

(My pairing for this film is a nice, refreshing lassi.  Your choice of flavor.)

You might feel that I'm a bit harsh on Moore's Bond. He was 56 years old when this film was released so maybe my "moves like an old man" comments are unkind but I call it like I see it. 

I knew Moore was in the TV series The Saint (I was mistaken in thinking it was his first role...in actuality it probably was more like his first big break but he was in a bunch of TV series in the 60s) so I thought I'd watch that as a sample from his early career and something else from late in his career to see if my opinion of him changes at all.

I like to tell a story chronologically, so let's start with early career, shall we?

The Saint (1962 - 1969)

I feel like I've seen some Saint episodes in color (reruns) but for this I thought I'd watch the very first episode "The Talented Husband".  Totes black and white.

Roger Moore was always handsome and even as a 35 year old he had the air of a British prep school boy. His hair was pomaded within an inch of its life, but if it was flopping over his eyes he'd be the precursor to Hugh Grant. 

He is already honing his quippiness-as-an-acting-tool method which is exacerbated by the fact that the character breaks the fourth wall at the beginning of the episode and talks to the audience.

I liked this episode. It's completely over-acted by everyone. Moore is witty and charming and handsome. It's big plot surprise/reveal is completely not surprising. I chalk this up to maybe the innocence of the time. Or maybe it's better to call it the "jaded-ness" of my time. A thespian husband trying to kill his rich wife ever so politely in a picturesque British hamlet doesn't quite compare to weekly murders by serial killers on the gritty streets of New York City.

(My drink pairing for this episode is a dry vodka martini, 3 olives. Preferably ordered at a bar in the theatre district.)

I love this graphic.

Baby I can see your halo...you know you're my saving grace.

And now for the later career.

A Princess for Christmas (released in 2011)

This film is listed as Roger Moore's last film. I debated what to watch from later in his career. I really wanted to watch Ffolkes, because I remember liking it back in the day, but it wasn't on any of my streaming channels (irritating). My search was narrowed to this film, Boat Trip (he plays a gay man) or Cats & Dogs: Revenge of Kitty Galore (he voices a 007 type cat character).  Boat Trip and Cats & Dogs both got severely panned (honestly, many of Moore's films didn't do well by Rotten Tomatoes standards) so I chose Princess. This was a TV movie so I couldn't find it on any site like Rotten Tomatoes. Let me give you all a piece of advice. If you can't find it rated, be wary.

It's a Hallmark movie and believe me, I'm not saying that disparagingly. I spend every Thanksgiving in Boston staying with my dear cousin, Cynthia. We do all sorts of fun things - prepping for Thanksgiving, going to the Greek Christmas Ball, we even hit a museum last year. The best thing we do, however, my favorite part really - is the day after Thanksgiving. We curl up on the couches with doggies and blankets (bonus points if it snows) and watch HOURS of Hallmark Christmas movies. I don't mean a couple movies. I mean it becomes our day job. Her husband, Joe, comes and goes. The only reason we rise from the couch is if we have to pee, if the dogs have to pee or if we're hungry. It's perfect.

All that just to exemplify that I know my Hallmark movies. Sure, they are horrifyingly formulaic but mostly they are fun. And I really hate to say it but this one was total crap. The heroine is a woman from Buffalo played by an Irish actress. She always sounds stilted, probably because she can't get the accent right. The children in it are kind of assholes that never quite redeem themselves. The hero is played by the guy who plays Jaime Fraser on Outlander. Normally HOT HOT HOT. In this...meh (I sent a photo of him to Beth while I was watching remarking that he looks better with his longer, unkempt Jaime hair. In this he's clean-cut and looks about 10 years old). Also, they have ZERO chemistry. They each looked like they were kissing a board. With splinters. 

Roger Moore plays a Duke. He's too old, quite frankly, to be quippy in this. He has all the stateliness of a Royal so I guess you could say he was the one redeeming part of this film. Which, sadly, wasn't enough to actually redeem this film.

(My drink pairing for this movie is a gin & tonic. Apparently, this is a favorite of Royals in general.)

My takeaways:

#1 - Even though I feel like a shithead saying I'm not a big Roger Moore fan, I don't feel that I should sugarcoat things on my "blog". Right?

#2 - Roger Moore started his career as a model. He did so many ads for knitwear that he earned the nickname "The Big Knit". I'd like to have a chat about creativity with whoever gave him that nickname.

#3 - Moore was married 3 times - twice to woman older than he. Nice going, ladies!!

xoxo...hashtagSueslife