As anyone who has read my blog before knows, my mom was a huge influence on my movie watching (and let's be honest, my everything else) from way back and typically on or around her birthday I try to watch a movie that either she loved or that I think she would love. The year my mother passed away, serendipity stepped in and on her actual birthday a local theatre had a Gone With the Wind revival, which was her favorite movie ever. It was pretty epic to go see that movie on that particular day. My emotions were very raw, as you can imagine, but it was kind of soothing to watch the gorgeous, lush Technicolor images I had seen SO many times in my youth; it made me feel almost like she was there with me.
Some Athena Anita Caragianis Erokan bullet points for your enjoyment:
- She was fiercely loyal to her family.
- She had two brothers and three sisters and, of course, her parents (my yiayia and pappou). She would do anything for them and missed them terribly when she lived in Istanbul and California. She even named one of her sons after her baby brother, John. These are the people that made me understand all about Greek pride.
- I think she still watches over me: the most striking example being the day after she died. It was Christmas day (of all fucked up things) and my family was trying to retain some semblance of normalcy, I think. I was driving over to the East Bay in the early morning. Just before I got on the Bay Bridge I got pulled over by the highway patrol. Seriously?? I immediately started thinking "okay, I'm gonna tell them my mom died yesterday and I'll start crying..." I was actually trying to channel my mom because she was really good at getting out of tickets. Once, when she was pulled over for speeding, she said "Officah..." in the Bostonian accent she never lost and the cop (who OF COURSE was from Boston) immediately caved and let her off the hook. She batted her eyes and giggled. Honest to God. Anyway, it turns out the cops noticed that my tire was dangerously low, called AAA and waited with me until the guy came to change my tire. Weird, right?
- She knew how to negotiate a deal.
- When I went to Turkey several years ago and met my father's family, all they could talk about was her. I'd say "What was my dad like when he was young??" and they would all say (seriously, ALL of them) "Oh, your dad was so nice and your MOTHER...!". Then they would launch into crazy stories about how she shook everything up when she moved there. One of my favorite stories was about three young girls (cousins? I'm still unclear on how everyone was related in my dad's family!) who wanted my mom to teach them English. My mom said sure, but they had to repay her by doing chores for her. These girls had NEVER done chores before (my dad's family had money) and were horrified but my mom stood firm. Apparently this stuck with them because they told me this story 50 years later!
- She was also amazingly good at bartering/haggling - which is infinitely embarrassing when you are a preteen.
- She was ridiculously brave.
- My dad was in the Turkish Navy and in the early 50's it was pretty uncool to have a Greek wife (like he-could-get-kicked-out uncool). So when she moved there (which was brave enough - leaving her home, parents and siblings to go start a family in a foreign country!) she had to change her first name so no one would know she was Greek ("Athena" would have been a dead giveaway). They picked "Anita".
- She was PC before it was hip.
- When I was 11 years old and told her I wanted to spell my name Sioux (I think we were studying Native Americans, this was way before Siouxie Sioux...I'm old, people), she was having NONE of it; reminding me how rude it would be since we weren't American Indian. I was irritated but she was right.
- She was ridiculously accident-prone.
- She had a shit ton of scars, including one at her hairline from falling through a plate glass window when she was little.
- When I was young she literally almost rolled off a cliff in Santa Cruz onto the rocks at the bottom. I nearly had a heart attack that day.
- She was a terrible influence on my friends.
- I would come home from work when I was in high school and she'd be sitting at the dining room table with some of my friends, all smoking. Smoking. With. Them. Sigh. They loved hanging out with her.
- She was a total lightweight.
- One glass of alcohol made her goofy and giggly. Once she was walking behind me after drinking half a glass of wine at a Christmas party and stumbled, dumping it all over me. Thanks Mom! Your 15 year old smells like a dive bar!
- She could be kind of a jerk.
- To be "funny" she would comb my leg hair. Har har.
- She was NOT okay when I was a jerk.
- Her famous line, when I was being an asshole, was "I always love you, but right now I don't like you." Brutal.
- My brothers had a different experience with my parents than I did.
- She frequently told people that she felt it was MUCH easier to raise boys than girls. When I finally did the math on that one and realized she meant ME specifically (I have no sisters) I confronted her. She just smiled at me.
- She was pretty hilarious.
- When she lived in Turkey and was learning the language, she was entertaining with her mother in law (who was a bit stuffy, as I understand it). She wanted to ask my dad's cousin if he was too warm and if she should open a window (I think he was some big wig in the town or something so everyone was being extra polite), but mispronounced the phrase and asked him if he had to take a shit (to be fair, the phrases sounded similar according to her). She thought it was funny. My grandmother was horrified. The cousin LOVED my mom after that. And I think they opened the window.
There are a million things that I miss about my mom, but maybe the biggest things are her smile and laugh. She had a huge, often used laugh. And her smile lit up a room. I would give anything to see it again.
And in case you want to channel a bit of Anita Erokan (which I highly recommend...it's liberating) you can start by yelling "You have a prairie! Move!!" to any cars that are in your way when you're driving and then maybe watch a movie. Here are some (beside GWTW) she enjoyed:
Singin' In The Rain (or anything with Gene Kelly, frankly)
It Happened One Night
Gilda
Ocean's Eleven (the original of course)
Wuthering Heights
Silverado
Funny Girl (mostly for Omar Sharif, who had "bedroom eyes" - her phrase)
Happy birthday Mom. I'm making some baklava in your honor.
xoxo...hashtagSueslife
What is your drink pairing...a Manhattan?
ReplyDeleteHer smile lit up a room.
ReplyDelete